Almost a year ago, I was seriously struggling to stay afloat. My heart felt like it was racing on a regular basis. The thought of making decisions, no matter how small, was like asking me to climb Mt. Everest or swim across the Atlantic Ocean. I was so overwhelmed with everything and didn't know what else to do.
I was at a point where I felt alone, like no one else even knew how to help me and I was tired of just going through the motions of being a wife, mother, and friend. My relationship with God was barely hanging on by a thread and I was just living for my very depressed and anxious self. I didn't even want to leave my house (or my couch). The house was turning into a pig sty (at least in my eyes) and Tim did pretty much all of our grocery shopping and errands since the thought of driving anywhere made me feel anxious and exhausted. How could I live for Jesus when I could barely live for myself?
Then, I found some courage to make an appointment with *Betty. I was cautiously optimistic. It was a step in the right direction, but I was still unsure that she would really help me.
Fast forward to today ---- and I feel like a different person. Colors seem brighter, I laugh a lot more, and life feels more joyful. I feel a lot more comfortable leaving my house and taking on new challenges. I even took on a new job and am planning a ladies event at church. I'm alive again!
These changes didn't happen overnight though. It took a bit of work on my part. There was homework and practicing techniques to combat anxiety. I learned how to think and act differently in awkward or difficult situations. I became more mindful of my feelings and expressing them vs. just stuffing and avoiding them. I'm also more aware of what my limits are and I don't feel as guilty saying "no" when I need to.
There are still moments of high anxiety in my life. I've had to stop more than a few times to do some deep breathing and/or find a quiet place to be alone for a little while. But I'm no longer feeling like I'm constantly stressed out or in fight/flight mode. I have my life back. Praise Jesus!
