Sacred Marriage - Chapter One: The Greatest Challenge in the World

Tim wanted to have us both read "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. (It's actually one of the books that Pastor Sid recommended and spoke about in one of the first sermons that I heard him give.) We're going to try and do a chapter a day or every few days and then discuss it at night after Caleb goes to bed. I've only read the first chapter, but am hoping to write a little bit every day about the thoughts that are going through my head as I'm reading and learning.

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CHAPTER ONE: The Greatest Challenge in the World - A call to Holiness more than Happiness

"This is a book that looks at how we can use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God and to grow in Christian character." I agree that we should use all of our experiences in marriage to glorify God rather than to strive for our own personal happiness. Too often, we are selfish and only remember that God is there when times are tough or we need something. We expect that we should be happy all the time if we put our trust in God. The truth is that God is there in everything that we do; we should praise Him for the good and the bad. We should thank Him for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us. We should confess our sins and give our burdens to Him. We should love Him above all.

When I first started dating Tim, I was so infatuated with him during our puppy love sort of stage. I somehow knew that he was going to be "the one." I also thought that our relationship would always possess that beautiful, romantic love that would last forever. Since I've been married, I've realized that when people talk about the ups and downs of marriage, they were right. We're going to have days of utter happiness and days of complete misery and frustration. That puppy love that we had once isn't enough to keep a marriage going. We need the kind of love that we can only find by drawing closer to God. I laughed when I read this line from the book: "If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me "happy," then I'd have to get a "new" marriage every two or three years." Then I thought about it for a bit and realized how true that statement is. No wonder so many people get divorced!

Last year I started reading/doing the "Love Dare." It wasn't because I thought my marriage was in shambles and that we were leaning towards divorce. It was because I figured we had a good thing going for us and I knew it could only get better. One of the days, it asked the question, "Why do you love your spouse?" Like most people, I would respond with all the reasons that I love Tim. He's smart, funny, cute... he helps around the house... etc. However, if we have to have specific reasons to love our spouse, what will happen if they became an invalid? Would we love them less? Would we leave them? No, the answer lies much deeper than that. We should love our spouses just because, no reasons attached. God loves us infinitely more than we could ever fathom, yet that is the type of love that should sustain a marriage. By learning more about God and His love, we will be able to in turn use our marriage to make us holy and find ultimate happiness through God who lives in us.

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I had originally planned to basically summarize each chapter, but then started going on little rabbit trails in my head so figured I better just write it all out. Hopefully it made sense to someone other than just myself. :-)

A Prayer for Patience ...

On the outside, I seem like I have it all together... well, most of the time. To be honest, I don't feel very patient even though my husband came home the other night and commended me on my patience. It's something that I'm continually praying for. I need patience to deal with all sorts of situations that come up. Right now, my biggest struggle is being patient with Caleb. I love that little boy to death, but he definitely tests my patience on a daily basis. He has his occasional tantrums and smart alack remarks. Sometimes, I just have to examine what exactly is coming out of my own mouth because Caleb is probably mirroring my words and actions. Am I setting a good example for him? Could I be setting a better one for him?

My prayer today and every day is for the patience that will endure and help me to be a better mom and wife. I pray for Tim who is also in need of patience. We both have a tendency to react first rather than taking a moment to reflect, think about it, and then react. This is especially true with Caleb. He'll say or do something that is not appropriate or he just won't listen. Instead of counting to 10 so that we can speak calmly with him, we shout, "No!" or "Don't do that!" or "Aren't you listening?" or "Fine, I don't care anymore." or "Go to your room!" I know there are times when I will need to raise my voice or be stern, but I don't really want to be the mom that is constantly yelling while raising my kids. Don't worry... we don't yell that often. It just feels like we've been doing it more than I'd like since Sonya has been born.

Lord, I thank you so much for the beautiful children that you have blessed us with. I ask that you guide Tim and I to be more patient with each other and with our children. We aren't perfect parents and will probably make lots more mistakes than we've already made. Thank you for your grace and continual patience with us as we learn from our wrongs. Amen.

Random post... early morning

I felt like writing this morning, but I have no idea what about yet. Sometimes I like to just start typing and then all of a sudden, I have a whole page written. When I was looking through my blog from college a few weeks ago, I had lots of posts that didn't really seem to have a main topic. They seemed to be the most fun to read and I admit, I was laughing out loud at some of the memories. I couldn't believe how much I had "forgotten" and how inspirational some of my posts were.

I still haven't thought of anything interesting to write about ..... Tim is going to be in Chicago all day today for work. I plan on going to mom's group with Caleb and Sonya. Then we'll head over to my parent's house to spend some time with them. I'm so glad that they're willing to let Caleb spend the night by them. I feel like everyone in the house is always competing for my attention, but I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed that I just like to veg out in front of the computer or TV after Tim gets home. I'm hoping that Tim and I will have some quality time tonight and that he stays up a little bit later than he has been. By the time both kids are finally in bed, Tim is usually asleep already so we don't get much quality time together without interruptions. I don't know what we'll do once I go back to work and Sonya gets a bit older. I guess we'll just have to take advantage of friends and relatives that are willing to watch the kids and give us a break. :-)

For some reason, my creative juices just aren't flowing yet this morning. My fingers are anxious though and want to keeping typing. I suppose I better get the kids ready for mom's group. We've been up since 5am this morning. Well... Caleb has... I tried to doze off while he watched "Pete's Dragon." I don't think I slept much even though I wanted to. I just don't feel tired for some reason. Sonya fell back to sleep though like a good little girl. Oh well...maybe I can sleep in tomorrow while Caleb is at grandma and grandpa's house.

Over and out for now.