It's been about a year since I finally gave in and went to see a counselor about my anxiety. I haven't seen her since May, but am thinking about returning again.
This time of year seems to be the worst for my anxiety. I feel like I start having everything under control and can handle adding one or two more things. Then my brain starts wigging out and telling me that it's too much and the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and anxious begins again. The more I think about it lurking in the darkness, the more it creeps out.
Don't get me wrong -- for most of the year, I've been able to manage my anxiety really well. It's just that it comes out of nowhere and surprises me when I least expect it and usually when I don't have time to deal with it and have deadlines for my few extra things.
As we start nearing Thanksgiving and Christmas, I tend to overthink all the details and want to make sure I have everything figured out in advance. There are family get togethers, cleaning the house and finding the perfect gifts for the names we've picked. Then throw in Christmas parties, school & church programs, and Christmas baking. Oh.. and I have a part time job. I love it most days, but it can be a bit stressful when I need to get purchases done by "yesterday."
I just need to focus on what I can do today instead of jumping ahead. I need to take some deep breaths and remind myself of who I am, what I'm capable of, and that God is in control even when I feel out of control.
So life goes on. The cycle of anxiety ebbs and flows. I keep learning more about myself and what I need to stay on top of my mental health. Sometimes a visit to the counselor is just like a tune up for a car or a wellness visit to my primary care physician. Now, I just have to work up the courage to make that call.....
