Sometimes I have too much on my mind. I can't sift through it well enough to make it comprehensible on a blank sheet of paper (or a blog). Can't you just read my mind instead? You'd probably get lost in the jumble of my thoughts. It still wouldn't make sense. A giant spiderweb waiting to be untangled.
Writing is my therapy. It helps to unwind the threads that are my thoughts and roll it back into a sweet ball of yarn again.
What is it that I struggle with? What thoughts am I even talking about? Those questions float around in my head too!
The first thing that comes to mind -- I feel like I have all this passion inside of me to do something great, but I don't know what that is yet. I struggle with patience and waiting on what God wants me to do. In the meantime, I try to fill my time with busywork and dreaming. Maybe I read too many books -- I want to be the heroine who helps the town come together. I want to be the one that everyone comes to for advice. I want to travel. I want to leave a legacy. Sometimes I feel like I'm just stuck in Kansas waiting to go to Oz....
Well, that's one thing slightly unraveled. I better get back to cleaning my house and spending time with my daughter. Until next time!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Trying new things... not exactly my forte
I don't like change or trying new things. I like being comfortable and staying within my comfort zone -- staying within that zone where I know it's something I can succeed at.
I don't mind trying new things at home where no one else will see if I screw up. I hate admitting that I made a mistake or that something didn't work out.
I always seem to have a desire to try something new, but almost always talk myself out of doing it.
For example: I wanted to take a Zumba class. I had myself psyched up to go and then during the last hour before it was time to go, I convinced myself that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't going to do it perfectly. People were going to "judge" me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend money on a class. I kind of felt guilty doing something for myself and the thought of doing something new made me feel so anxious!!
So I decided to find a YouTube video and did Zumba at home in my living room. It was great! No criticism. I could do it whenever I found time and no one would see me make a fool of myself except my husband! haha
Anyway, after a few weeks of sticking with my Zumba video workout, I just didn't feel motivated to take the time and do it. I kept finding excuses and eventually wasn't working out at all.
So last night, I made a decision to go to Zumba. I was still on the fence trying to figuring out if I should really go or not. Then I remembered something that a friend said that their son learned from counseling -- Make a decision and stick with it. *whew!* Instead of making an empty commitment, I called up a friend that was in the class AND I called the instructor. This held me accountable to show up. Even though I still felt a little nervous, I was excited to try something new and was glad that I stuck with it.
I survived my first Zumba class and it was fun!! Now, I'm just a little sore today. haha
I'm hoping that through my attempts to try new things, I can teach my kids that it's ok to be afraid to try something new. But if they don't at least try it, they're never going to know if they'll like it or not.
I don't mind trying new things at home where no one else will see if I screw up. I hate admitting that I made a mistake or that something didn't work out.
I always seem to have a desire to try something new, but almost always talk myself out of doing it.
For example: I wanted to take a Zumba class. I had myself psyched up to go and then during the last hour before it was time to go, I convinced myself that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't going to do it perfectly. People were going to "judge" me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend money on a class. I kind of felt guilty doing something for myself and the thought of doing something new made me feel so anxious!!
So I decided to find a YouTube video and did Zumba at home in my living room. It was great! No criticism. I could do it whenever I found time and no one would see me make a fool of myself except my husband! haha
Anyway, after a few weeks of sticking with my Zumba video workout, I just didn't feel motivated to take the time and do it. I kept finding excuses and eventually wasn't working out at all.
So last night, I made a decision to go to Zumba. I was still on the fence trying to figuring out if I should really go or not. Then I remembered something that a friend said that their son learned from counseling -- Make a decision and stick with it. *whew!* Instead of making an empty commitment, I called up a friend that was in the class AND I called the instructor. This held me accountable to show up. Even though I still felt a little nervous, I was excited to try something new and was glad that I stuck with it.
I survived my first Zumba class and it was fun!! Now, I'm just a little sore today. haha
I'm hoping that through my attempts to try new things, I can teach my kids that it's ok to be afraid to try something new. But if they don't at least try it, they're never going to know if they'll like it or not.
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