Overflowing thoughts...

So much on my mind lately ---

For some reason, I keep getting sucked in to Pinterest. There are so many great ideas out there on how to dress up your home. Instead of appreciating what I have and where I am, why is it that I still want something just a little bit better? I don't like that feeling -- the feeling that I'm being materialistic. When I think back to the time we were house hunting (a year and a half ago), I remember telling Tim that I was content with our apartment. So even if we didn't find a house right away, I knew that everything would work out and I'd be fine living in the apartment for a few years or more if that's what God wanted. Now that I have a house, I find myself "wanting" so much more. Is it because I have more space? Is it because I want to be "like everybody else"? It's probably both of those things along with the pressure from society and things like Facebook and Pinterest. While they're fun to see how everyone is doing, I can't help but feeling a twinge of jealousy at times along with feelings that I'm not good enough or my house isn't good enough. I just have to remind myself that it doesn't matter if I don't have exactly what everyone else does. God has provided what I need and that's "enough" for me.

Moving on -- I've been trying to come up with ideas for a women's study at church. The leaders of our Moments for Moms group aren't able to do it this year in the same capacity as they did last year. One of them has moved out of state so she's not around to help. I've just had it on my heart for the past year to lead a study of some sort. I haven't fully decided who the target group should be -- just young moms - any age of moms - just women in general. It could even be a combo group where we split off into smaller groups depending on how many people come. The idea I have for the study is more topical -- trying to delve into those subjects that we all struggle with. Some of the topics might be more of reminders while others might turn into great revelations. Behind it all, my goal is to bring women together -- to open up to each other and make ourselves a little vulnerable so that we can learn more about each other and build even great bonds. It's kind of like marriage -- when I found Tim, I knew that by sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings, I was more susceptible to a greater hurt if things didn't work out... BUT I also knew that it was possible to find the greatest love that way too. I think this can carry over into friendships with women.

Anyway, my brain feels like it's on overload. I just can't get all my ideas to come together. So I'm just writing down thoughts to hopefully find a way to make sense of it. I've been praying too. Only God knows the names of the women that will make it into this study and He knows what they'll need to hear. I'm just a vessel  being used. I have to get over myself and remember that it's not about me or the success of this study -- it's about glorifying a wonderful God in all that I do.

Well, it's been a raining morning. We just watched three episodes of the Magic School Bus already and I should probably get a few things done. Adios for now.