The truth of anxiety

Below is something I wrote on Facebook the other day. I was a little scared to hit "post" because I wasn't sure what the reaction of people would be. I figured I might have one or two comments, but was amazed by how many friends and family came out of the woodwork to encourage me and share their own struggles with anxiety. So thankful for a heavenly Father who knew exactly what I needed and for giving me opportunities to connect with people that I don't know as well. Praise God!

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Moment of truth: I have a hard time allowing myself to be vulnerable and show "too much" emotion. It's mostly because I feel so deeply about things that it physically hurts sometimes. So I bury those thoughts and feelings and forget about them. Unfortunately, my body doesn't forget and I often feel the full effects of anxiety trying to paralyze me. My brain is telling me that I'm fine and I can handle things. I shouldn't be overwhelmed. But... My body doesn't always get that message. It wants me to process my thoughts and feelings. So, the results for me is that I've been having a lot of headaches and migraines lately along with extreme tension in my back, neck, shoulders, and jaw. There's even been a few times of borderline hyperventilating and my heart actually hurting.

Anxiety is such a tricky thing. I never know when it's going to attack, which puts me in a state of paranoia that leads to more anxiety. It's a crazy cycle. I've often been one to worry and stress out over things, but dealing with almost constant anxiety for three months straight is new for me. I've kind of felt a little crazy and ridiculous for feeling the way I do.

So I'm going to try and start writing more again. Journaling has always been a great outlet for processing my thoughts and I haven't been good about doing that regularly.

Anyway, I just want to thank my friends for talking me through things, cheering me on, and praying for me. I'm also so thankful for Tim. He's been amazing at helping with the kids and make dinner when I need to hide out in a dark and quiet room. Just last night, he and the kids wrote out all the things they love about me and sent them in an email for me to read after I got home from Bible study. I'm so blessed to have these warriors by my side. 💜

If you've ever struggled with anxiety, you're not alone. We just have to encourage one another, talk through life, and keep on turning to the Lord in prayer and in scriptures. We can do this!!

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A comment that I wrote in my post:

Wow! Thank you everyone for your kind comments and love. I wasn't expecting so many of you to respond. Today was a good day. I can always tell when I have people praying for me. :-) Mostly, I just wanted to stop hiding behind a fake smile and show what my reality looks like. I know so many people deal with anxiety too and thought they could benefit from knowing they're not alone. We just don't always know how to talk about it in a way that makes sense to those that have never experienced anxiety in the same way as we do.

Anyway, I'll leave you all with one of my favorite Bible verses that helps when I'm feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders:

"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon me and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)