Slowing Down...

I think that sometimes God is trying to tell us to slow down a little and just trust Him a little more. All last week, I was hoping to do a lot of organizing, cleaning, and packing to get ready for moving day. Alas, I got hit with a horrible sinus infection -- one of the worst that I've had in a long time. On top of feeling miserable and fatigued, my left ear had a lot of pressure so I couldn't really hear out of it. (I'm still waiting for that pressure to subside). Anyway, being sick slowed me down enough that I just didn't get anything done around the house. Things didn't go as I had planned in my head. Then, my sister called me up out of the blue and asked if I'd like a visitor. She didn't have to work for a few days, so she came down on Sunday night and is staying until later today ... or maybe tomorrow depending on if we need her. She's been a blessing with helping watch the kids and just distracting me from worrying too much about closing on our house.

Our loan officer sent us an email yesterday with the final amount that we need to bring to closing. We wanted to see a break-down so asked for a copy of the papers that gave details on every expense item. It turns out that they didn't include a credit that we are expecting from the sellers to go towards some electrical work. Luckily, Tim saw that and had to make a lot of calls to get the paperwork changed by working with our realtor and loan officer. I'm not sure if it was the title company that did it wrong or what, but we were a little stressed out last night after our closing costs and down payment fluctuated throughout the day.

After the long day, I was looking forward to watch a nice, relaxing softball game since Tim had a double header last night through our church. It'd be the first game of the season that had decent enough weather for me to come along with the kids. Plus, my sister was here to help with the kids. Well, the weather was still pretty windy and a little chilly so we bundled up into the car. I had popped some popcorn to bring as a snack. It was going to be nice. As we're pulling into the park's parking lot, I see Tim going in the opposite direction. My first thought was that they decided at the last minute that they were going to a different diamond or that the other team forfeited already. I was wondering why he hadn't called me or anything though. I thought I saw something on his chin as we drove past so I told my sister that he was probably going to the emergency room. Although, if he was hurt that bad, I didn't know why he was driving himself.

I pulled into a parking spot to wait and then Tim called. "I'm going to Urgent Care." What???? "I got hit with a ball during practice and the guys thought I needed stitches." So, in my mind, I was freaking out a little, but tried to stay relatively calm. We turned around and met him at the urgent care that was a few blocks from the baseball diamond. I helped him fill out all his paperwork. He didn't want me to stay with him at all and said to just go back to the park to let the kids play and he'd meet us there to watch the game. I had him show me his battle wound really quick just to have an idea of what we were up against and confirmed that he would definitely need some stitches.

With the kids still in the car with my sister, we went back to the park. I watched a little of the game and played with the kids for 45 minutes. It got chilly and I wanted to check on Tim. So we went to urgent care and he was STILL in the waiting room!!! I couldn't believe it. I was SO mad!! I almost chewed out the receptionist, but Tim told me not to bother because it wasn't going to help anything. He'd just complain later in a survey or something. Well, I wasn't sure how much longer he would need to wait, but he insisted he was next in line and that I should just go home to get the kids to bed and maybe pack a few things into my sister's van already. So, I got Tim some more paper towels because his chin was still bleeding a little and then went home.

I kept pacing around the house and looking out the window to see if Tim was home yet. He had been at urgent care since a little after 6pm and finally got home closer to 8:30pm. Yeah, he waited about an hour and fifteen minutes before he was seen by a doctor. But, they stitched him up pretty quick and sent him home. Five stitches in his chin.

Needless to say, instead of worrying about closing on our house this morning -- in two hours to be exact, I was more worried about my husband. God sure knows how to slow us down and appreciate the more important things -- like Tim and my sister and my family.

Writing again!

Seems like life has gotten so busy lately. I had kind of lost my passion for writing. Now it's slowly coming back and I feel a little happier too. :-)

I finally got around to posting the next part of "my story" in Grace Like Rain. So for those of you readers that have been anxiously waiting to hear more, I just posted today. Sorry it took me so long, but it was tough to write about and that was what was holding me back from writing much of anything. I kind of dreaded having to walk down memory lane and relive some feelings that I thought I ditched a while ago.

Anyway, today was a good day. I surprised Caleb by having a picnic lunch at the park after school today. Then, I got a call from Tim and he asked where we were. I thought it was strange that he was asking because he was at work anyway. He had actually gone home to surprise us for lunch since he had to head to Denmark and make a few stops along the way this afternoon. So he came to the park and ate lunch with us. It was nice :-)

Well, it's a beautiful day out so we're going to enjoy it by playing some soccer. Catch ya'll later.

Earthquakes and tsunamis

Last night, I happened upon a documentary on the earthquake and tsunami damage in Japan. Normally I would've just changed the channel to one of my "shows." Instead, I just sat there and was in awe of the intricate design of God's creation, the earth. Science has always been fascinating to me so it was interesting to hear what scientists had to say about everything. I had no idea that there were over 500 aftershocks in Japan, some were even greater intensities than the initial one!

After looking at a map of the plate tectonics lying beneath Japan, I counted not 2, not 3, but SIX plates! The pressure released by the movement of one plate caused the earthquake and the movement of the ocean floor created the waves of the tsunami. The release of pressure from one plate probably created more pressure onto one or more of the neighboring plates. To me, Japan sounds like a ticking time bomb!

I'm definitely no expert, but have always seemed to love geology. I wondered why I never pursued that.....

Anyway, watching video footage of the tsunami acting like a big glacier, tearing up the city beneath it and gaining more power as it pulled more of the wreckage into its path, I struggled with my emotions. The scene captivated me. I couldn't imagine people being in there. Yet, they showed the aftermath and how the Japanese were putting flags in the mud and debris to mark the deceased. I was so saddened and still can't imagine what those people are going through. It's so easy to forget about something that happened on the other side of the world. It's even easy to forget about something that happened yesterday. Talk about desensitization in our society. Sure, the newscasters will show some photos of homeless Japanese men and women amid the aftermath. We'll feel bad for them, but will we really think about how their world literally came crashing down on them? Sometimes I feel helpless -- but then I'm reminded of the power of prayer.

Praying for the Japanese -- that this be a great opportunity to learn more about Jesus Christ and how God can provide for them and comfort them during this time of distress. May God soften the hearts of the Japanese and plant seeds of faith through any believers that they encounter. Lord, just be with these people. They need you so much right now.

*Sorry if this seemed so scattered. Some of my thoughts were lost from last night into today. Other thoughts just kept coming back and I needed to write them down. If you're reading this, please join me in continued prayers for Japan.

Pulling out my hair at times

Parenting is not always easy. Sure, the kids can be very sweet at times, almost angelic. Yet, they have their moments where they like to push your buttons and see how far you'll go. Empty threats of discipline followed by sitting in the corner on the "naughty chair," being put on yellow or even red light, losing special privileges.... I just need to find something that works. Yes, I'm talking about my little boy. Lately, he has been a lot more sassy and has either lost his sense of hearing or is choosing not to listen to mommy and daddy. He's even been teasing a kid at school and doesn't always listen to his teachers. This is not the same kid I placed in 4K at the beginning of the school year. I'm hoping it's just a phase that will pass by.

The other day, I felt like a failure of a mother. I can't control my own kid! But... I have to remember that he has a mind of his own and I won't always be able to control his behavior or the words he says. It was easier when he was littler and acted so sweet and innocent almost all of the time. I'm not ready to be a parent of a 4 and 1/2 year old! Well, I'm ready, but apparently not very well prepared. I guess Caleb will just have to be the guinea pig like all first-borns. I'll probably make some mistakes along the way. (Hopefully nothing too serious! haha) Someone reminded me that Caleb is a pretty good kid most of the time so I must be doing something right. He just seems to act up so much when I'm around that I tend to see the not so angelic side of my little guy.

I've been trying to pray a lot more for my children and also for my parenting. It seems to help a little, but at the end of the day, I still feel like pulling out my hair!

Does anyone have some good ideas to reinforce positive behavior / discipline? I feel like I've tried everything. Maybe I'm lacking consistency with enforcing our current "policies". Either that or I need to try something new and start from scratch.

Well, that's my rant for the moment. Sonya has been teething lately and just whines a lot throughout the day so that probably doesn't help my sanity much. Thank goodness she is taking a morning nap today! I better get a few things done while she's sleeping! Over and out!

The more I pray...

It seems that the more I pray, the more God challenges me. I've been praying a lot about the house that He has in mind for us. Sometimes I wonder why He even lets me get my hopes up about certain houses... only to have them crushed when we learn that the house has an accepted offer or they've taken their house off the market. Yesterday was one of those days of disappointment. I'm learning to just trust that God knows what's best for us. When I look back on some of the doors and windows that He has closed, I realize that maybe that house wasn't quite right for our family. It's still possible that a window or door might open up again. He might be doing some work with the seller's family that we don't know about.

It's funny how I've started praying for complete strangers. Tim suggested that we pray that the buyers on a house we liked would win the lottery or get a really fantastic job in another state so they'd have to pull their offer on the house and we'd be next in line since we put a secondary offer on it. On another house, I'm praying that a woman gets to keep her job and/or they are able to still qualify for a loan on the house that they have an accepted offer on. They have a contingency that they have to sell their house first before they can go forward with the closing on their new house. Who knows? Everything might fall into place so that we still get one of those two houses. Otherwise, it's a new day and we saw two more houses that we can tour. Which direction does God want us to go? We'll find out.... eventually.

For now, I'm just trusting that God will continue to guide us even though at times I feel like I'm on a wild goose chase trying to find a needle in a haystack. I'll find that needle one of these days. :-)

How God is answering prayer....

The other day, my blog consisted of a list of prayer requests. While the list still remains, I can see God working through them. (see the comments in blue)


1) Praying that I can help lift Tim up as he has some frustrations with work right now. (The frustrations haven't totally been resolved, but don't seem to consume his thoughts as much.)

2) Praying for Tim's uncle (related via Tim's mom's sister). We just learned that the brain tumor that they removed is malignant. They have two younger girls -- around ages 7 and 9. Praying for safe travel of family members as they come to help out while he is doing physical therapy and eventually other treatments. (Tim's mom was able to come up for a week to help with the girls. So we'll go up on Saturday to visit with everyone. Physical therapy is going alright; his uncle still has some limitations in movement on his left side, but is definitely in good spirits. Also, he and a large majority of the family are believers which is a HUGE praise.)

3) Praying that Tim's dad gets answers about the uncertainty of his job. He's currently interviewing at other places just in case, but it's tough to not know when they are going to make cuts and who is going to end up leaving. (He found out that they have enough money in the budget and will not be making any cuts at all. His job is safe for now! Praise God!)

4) Praying for God to reveal himself and mend a marriage that seems to be falling apart again. Pray that we can be a beacon somehow. (Not sure where that is at).

5) Praying for our house and God's perfect plan. There's a lot of different meetings to try and coordinate and making sure we have all the right numbers figured out for what we can afford. (We found the perfect house, but alas, someone else thought it was perfect too. We're hoping to put in a secondary offer and just keep looking. It was a little disappointing, but God knows what he's doing. He wants us to be patient and maybe learn something that we wouldn't have learned without going through this process. Our house is out there somewhere. Praying on God's perfect timing.)

6) Praying that we start feeling better. Sonya and I have been sick for over 2 weeks now and Tim still has a lingering cough. (I felt TONS better yesterday. Sonya seems a little more cheerful too. I still feel like our cold aren't quite over, but at least I didn't need Tylenol yesterday for the first time in a few weeks.

7) Praying that our cars last a little longer especially since we're going to be buying a house. It seems that every time we turn around, there's something wrong with one of our cars. So far we've done about $700 just in 2011 and found out that there's probably another $400 we'll have to fork out on Tim's car (unless we can find  a way around it). *sigh* (We took Tim's car in for a second opinion. It was making a backfire noise when he started it. Instead of paying $400+ to replace the muffler, which was working fine, they replaced the hanger for a whopping total of $60. Praise God!! That's more money in our pockets for now.)


God is just so amazing. The answers to our prayer requests may not come in our own timing, but God always has our best interest in mind. It's His plan and not mine. I just have to keep that in perspective whenever I want to be in control. For now, I'll just keep on praying and listening to hear what God has in store for me next. 

When it rains, it pours...

I'm just sitting here at my desk, unsure of what to do. My heart is feeling heavy, weighted down by a load of bricks. There's just a lot going on. When it rains, it pours. On top of everything, we've been sick and are still trying to complete home buyer ed classes and look at houses. It's wearing on me a little. I feel out of the loop with my church friends since we haven't gone to ABF lately because of teaching Sunday School and between blizzards and house stuff, I haven't been able to go to Mom's night.

Unloading my burdens:
1) Praying that I can help lift Tim up as he has some frustrations with work right now.
2) Praying for Tim's uncle (related via Tim's mom's sister). We just learned that the brain tumor that they removed is malignant. They have two younger girls -- around ages 7 and 9. Praying for safe travel of family members as they come to help out while he is doing physical therapy and eventually other treatments.
3) Praying that Tim's dad gets answers about the uncertainty of his job. He's currently interviewing at other places just in case, but it's tough to not know when they are going to make cuts and who is going to end up leaving.
4) Praying for God to reveal himself and mend a marriage that seems to be falling apart again. Pray that we can be a beacon somehow.
5) Praying for our house and God's perfect plan. There's a lot of different meetings to try and coordinate and making sure we have all the right numbers figured out for what we can afford.
6) Praying that we start feeling better. Sonya and I have been sick for over 2 weeks now and Tim still has a lingering cough.
7) Praying that our cars last a little longer especially since we're going to be buying a house. It seems that every time we turn around, there's something wrong with one of our cars. So far we've done about $700 just in 2011 and found out that there's probably another $400 we'll have to fork out on Tim's car (unless we can find  a way around it). *sigh*

I'd appreciate any extra prayers.

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Another topic that has been on my heart: Praying for the budget repair bill. I genuinely feel for the families that might have to make adjustments if this goes into effect. Our family has already had to undergo some cuts in income and increases in insurance premiums in the past year or so due to the economy so I know what it's like. Not fun!

This repair bill will be preventing even more layoffs and dropping people from government assistance programs (especially children on Medicaid). Something needs to be done. Is this the right answer? Who knows? Will it help with the deficit? There's no doubt about that.  As for collective bargaining, I don't think it's a good idea to package all of this together in one bill and take away people's voices all at the same time. Heck, they shouldn't take away the collective voice at all, in my opinion.

Should some of us just take another hit and pay taxes on top of our pay freezes/cuts and other expenses? Either way it goes, people are going to be upset. Praying that God lay His hand of wisdom on all the ones that are involved with these important decisions that need to be made. It's definitely not an easy job and I wouldn't want to be in Walker's shoes right now. I commend him for going after what he thinks will work. I honestly think he has the best in mind for Wisconsin even if it's not "popular." It's too bad there isn't an answer that will just make everyone happy. If there was, I'm sure someone would've stepped up to the stand a long time ago before we dug ourselves into the deficit that we're in now. (My intent is not to offend anyone with this. If I have, I sincerely apologize. I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening)