I have a confession -- I haven't been very good at getting into the Word every day. I think the last time (other than church) was over a month ago. While I know that's not the end of the world and that God will still love me, I can't help but feeling like I'm letting Him down and letting myself down. I can tell when I haven't been reading. My relationship with my family isn't the same. I'm not as happy of a person and I feel so distant from God.
Yet, it's by God's grace that He brushes me off and puts me back on my feet again. All I need is a chat with Him to put me back in the right direction. Why do I continue to keep putting off that conversation? Is it because I'm afraid of facing Him? I have all sorts of excuses for not reading -- no time, just not in the mood, I'd rather do something else, I forgot, I got distracted, I really meant to..... They sound pretty weak to me. I can only imagine what God is thinking.
Today, I could definitely tell that I've been a little too slack with reading my Bible. It's when I let space get between myself and God that I feel more alone, depressed, not good enough, and out of the loop. I was questioning a few friendships and whether or not I was just imagining them or if they were real. I've felt like maybe I've been trying too hard and now they're distancing themselves from me. I'm probably just imagining things. I've always been a little paranoid that people hate me for some reason. (Maybe "hate" is too strong of a word, but that's what I get in my head). I guess that's what happens when you have a childhood of being shy and the other kids always teasing you or talking behind your back.
I need to be praying for Tim and the kids more often too. I can tell because we've been arguing more with each other. The kids just aren't listening as well and Caleb is just talking back so much lately.
If you read this, please pray for me -- pray for endurance and patience, pray for peace, pray that I find more time with Lord throughout the day... that I make Him a priority. Thank you!
Well, I better go -- I'm hearing yelling and thumping again. I can only imagine what that might mean.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
A Michelle Day
I had desperately been needing a day all to myself. Sometimes you just have to do it no matter how much you might love your family.
So when the April work weekend for Camp Grow came up, I decided to go alone. It'd be easier without the kids under foot anyway and I really needed some personal Michelle time. After my date with Tim on Friday night, I decided to just drive to camp already instead of trying to get up really early the next morning to do it since I'm a far cry from a morning person. The two hour drive there was peaceful and quiet. It gave me a lot of time to think and pray. I haven't felt that close to God in a while. Prayer time at home is often interrupted -- I usually need to write my prayers out or even just say them out loud.
Well, I prayed and sang for a good hour. My already fading voice got even more raspy, but it was worth it. God always knows what we need.
The last few miles to camp required a little more focus as all the nightlife was out and about. Some of the animals almost seemed to be waiting for me to come along. I hit a raccoon. He was asking for it while hiding in the shadows while I was paying more attention to his brother running off into the field. The deer were playing chicken in the road. I'm so glad I grew up in deer country or I might not have slowed down in the areas where I would've normally wanted to cruise.
By the time I got to camp, my head was throbbing -- I had hoped my migraine would be gone by now. It was 11 o'clock at night and no one seemed to be in the lodge and didn't want to wake anyone up by the director's house so I just went to bed. An hour later, I woke up to sounds of fire crackers and then the camp's golf cart. I just sat there listening as footsteps pounded down the hall and door creaked open and shut. My migraine was completely gone -- a small miracle in my eyes.
The next day, I woke up before my alarm. Instead of just lying in bed and thinking about falling back to sleep, I actually got up right away. I was ready for a day of hard work. It was nice to feel productive in a way that wasn't directly benefiting me. Cleaning up all the old shingles from a roofing project was way more satisfying that picking up the kids' toys only to know that they'd be strewn across the floor again in a matter of hours. While I prayed the night before, I asked God to just give me a servant's heart for the work weekend. I was fairly certain that I would be one of the only girls and was having a hard time coping with the fact that I might be stuck doing kitchen duty -- cleaning, making meals, doing dishes, etc.
God was faithful -- Even though I was the only girl until noon on Saturday, I was able to help outside and get my hands dirty. It was definitely what I needed. I only wish that I could've stayed longer to do more. Everywhere I looked, it seemed like something else needed to be done. I guess I've missed camp even more than I thought. It's like one of my homes away from home. Now I wish I hadn't let so many years go by before I went back, but that's another story.
So when the April work weekend for Camp Grow came up, I decided to go alone. It'd be easier without the kids under foot anyway and I really needed some personal Michelle time. After my date with Tim on Friday night, I decided to just drive to camp already instead of trying to get up really early the next morning to do it since I'm a far cry from a morning person. The two hour drive there was peaceful and quiet. It gave me a lot of time to think and pray. I haven't felt that close to God in a while. Prayer time at home is often interrupted -- I usually need to write my prayers out or even just say them out loud.
Well, I prayed and sang for a good hour. My already fading voice got even more raspy, but it was worth it. God always knows what we need.
The last few miles to camp required a little more focus as all the nightlife was out and about. Some of the animals almost seemed to be waiting for me to come along. I hit a raccoon. He was asking for it while hiding in the shadows while I was paying more attention to his brother running off into the field. The deer were playing chicken in the road. I'm so glad I grew up in deer country or I might not have slowed down in the areas where I would've normally wanted to cruise.
By the time I got to camp, my head was throbbing -- I had hoped my migraine would be gone by now. It was 11 o'clock at night and no one seemed to be in the lodge and didn't want to wake anyone up by the director's house so I just went to bed. An hour later, I woke up to sounds of fire crackers and then the camp's golf cart. I just sat there listening as footsteps pounded down the hall and door creaked open and shut. My migraine was completely gone -- a small miracle in my eyes.
The next day, I woke up before my alarm. Instead of just lying in bed and thinking about falling back to sleep, I actually got up right away. I was ready for a day of hard work. It was nice to feel productive in a way that wasn't directly benefiting me. Cleaning up all the old shingles from a roofing project was way more satisfying that picking up the kids' toys only to know that they'd be strewn across the floor again in a matter of hours. While I prayed the night before, I asked God to just give me a servant's heart for the work weekend. I was fairly certain that I would be one of the only girls and was having a hard time coping with the fact that I might be stuck doing kitchen duty -- cleaning, making meals, doing dishes, etc.
God was faithful -- Even though I was the only girl until noon on Saturday, I was able to help outside and get my hands dirty. It was definitely what I needed. I only wish that I could've stayed longer to do more. Everywhere I looked, it seemed like something else needed to be done. I guess I've missed camp even more than I thought. It's like one of my homes away from home. Now I wish I hadn't let so many years go by before I went back, but that's another story.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The Harvest is Plenty
A few weeks ago, my mentor said that she had been reading about the parable of the sower. I never really dug deep into that passage before so it was quite an eye-opener to try and think about which type of believer I am. The first type of soil represents one who hears God's Word, but doesn't believe and is not saved, but the other three types of soil signify believers that are in different walks of their faith. One hears God's Word and is excited at first, but nothing takes root and they fall away during times of testing. Another hears God's Word, but they are distracted by the things of this world and just never mature in their walk with Christ. The last soil is the good stuff -- the type that I pray I am planted in. I want to grow and learn and produce a crop. Sometimes I think that I'm living up to that expectation of bearing fruit by ministering to other people and sharing God's Word.
But... then I'm reminded that my children learn by my example and I still have an important role in teaching them as well as the kids in our Sunday School class. I have to help with planting and make sure the rocks are thrown aside, the weeds are pulled, and that these kids will eventually yield a bumper crop of new believers.
But... then I'm reminded that my children learn by my example and I still have an important role in teaching them as well as the kids in our Sunday School class. I have to help with planting and make sure the rocks are thrown aside, the weeds are pulled, and that these kids will eventually yield a bumper crop of new believers.
Luke 8: 4-15
4 While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: 5 “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. 6 Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”
When he said this, he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”
9 His disciples asked him what this parable meant. 10 He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,
“‘though seeing, they may not see;
though hearing, they may not understand.’
though hearing, they may not understand.’
11 “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12 Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
After reading the passage above, I pray that you find yourself longing to be planted in the rich soil -- longing to bear fruit and to stand strong in your convictions -- that you don't just give in to the ways of the world when times get tough -- and that you take root in God's Word. The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.
After reading the passage above, I pray that you find yourself longing to be planted in the rich soil -- longing to bear fruit and to stand strong in your convictions -- that you don't just give in to the ways of the world when times get tough -- and that you take root in God's Word. The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
If Only
For those of you that have "If Only" days......
If only I was smarter.
If only I was prettier.
If only I had that hair.
If only I had a bigger vehicle.
If only I had that contraption for the kitchen.
If only I had that laptop.
If only I had that bedroom set.
If only my house was a bit bigger.
If only I had that talent.
If only I had more money.
If only I didn't feel so tired.
If only I cleaned more often.
If only I called that friend.
If only I didn't waste so much time.
If only I knew God's word better.
If only I was more generous.
If only I was more forgiving.
If only I was a better parent.
If only .....
-- The list could go on. I just thought it was good to get all of these "if only's" out of my system. It was funny that I wrote the list yesterday afternoon and then last night, we talked about contentment in our mom's group. How can we teach contentment to our children if we're not content ourselves? God has blessed our family with so much yet the world around us demands that we mold ourselves into our neighbor and want what they have.
I often think I'm content at least when it comes to most material items -- I'm really good at window shopping, but have a hard time parting with money if it's something that I absolutely do not need and can live without. Today, for instance, I was in a thrift store and saw some plain pink sheets that would work for Sonya's bed. They were only $3. I could've bought them, but then I thought to myself that we have plenty of twin sized sheets at home. Most of them are green or have trucks on them, but they fit and no one really sees them anyway. Besides, Sonya might graduate to a queen sized bed at some point so that we can use her room as a guest room sometimes too. Then we'd have no use for the pink sheets anymore.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I have to admit that I desire what others have sometimes (as you can read from my list above). Even though I don't go out on a spending spree, the discontent is still in my heart. I told the girls last night that I've been wanting a van, but both of our cars are in working order and we only have two kids at home so we don't really need a van right now. It was especially hard for me to turn down the offer of a van from Tim's parents this past weekend -- they are selling theirs for a family discounted price. But, the timing wasn't right for us so said "no."
Anyway, all I know is that sometimes we feel like we're lacking in something. The truth is that God accepts us exactly the way we are. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He blesses us in ways that are both visible and invisible. So when I'm going through my "if only" phase, I remind myself of these truths. For the areas that aren't as tangible, I my work cut out for me, but that doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, a terrible friend, or a terrible parent. I just have to rely more on God to work through me and He will satisfy me in all ways of contentment.
If only I was smarter.
If only I was prettier.
If only I had that hair.
If only I had a bigger vehicle.
If only I had that contraption for the kitchen.
If only I had that laptop.
If only I had that bedroom set.
If only my house was a bit bigger.
If only I had that talent.
If only I had more money.
If only I didn't feel so tired.
If only I cleaned more often.
If only I called that friend.
If only I didn't waste so much time.
If only I knew God's word better.
If only I was more generous.
If only I was more forgiving.
If only I was a better parent.
If only .....
-- The list could go on. I just thought it was good to get all of these "if only's" out of my system. It was funny that I wrote the list yesterday afternoon and then last night, we talked about contentment in our mom's group. How can we teach contentment to our children if we're not content ourselves? God has blessed our family with so much yet the world around us demands that we mold ourselves into our neighbor and want what they have.
I often think I'm content at least when it comes to most material items -- I'm really good at window shopping, but have a hard time parting with money if it's something that I absolutely do not need and can live without. Today, for instance, I was in a thrift store and saw some plain pink sheets that would work for Sonya's bed. They were only $3. I could've bought them, but then I thought to myself that we have plenty of twin sized sheets at home. Most of them are green or have trucks on them, but they fit and no one really sees them anyway. Besides, Sonya might graduate to a queen sized bed at some point so that we can use her room as a guest room sometimes too. Then we'd have no use for the pink sheets anymore.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I have to admit that I desire what others have sometimes (as you can read from my list above). Even though I don't go out on a spending spree, the discontent is still in my heart. I told the girls last night that I've been wanting a van, but both of our cars are in working order and we only have two kids at home so we don't really need a van right now. It was especially hard for me to turn down the offer of a van from Tim's parents this past weekend -- they are selling theirs for a family discounted price. But, the timing wasn't right for us so said "no."
Anyway, all I know is that sometimes we feel like we're lacking in something. The truth is that God accepts us exactly the way we are. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He blesses us in ways that are both visible and invisible. So when I'm going through my "if only" phase, I remind myself of these truths. For the areas that aren't as tangible, I my work cut out for me, but that doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, a terrible friend, or a terrible parent. I just have to rely more on God to work through me and He will satisfy me in all ways of contentment.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Hope Sunday and Child Sponsorship
This past Saturday and Sunday, I had the opportunity to present child sponsorship for World Vision at my home church. God had really been putting it on my heart to speak out for children around the world that are in need of a sponsor. Child sponsorship is one way to give them the HOPE you find in Hope Sunday. Throughout the preparations for my presentation and "5 minutes of fame," God stretched me and grew me in ways that only He can do. I'm grateful for this experience of going outside of my comfort zone and hope you'll read my story below:
My Story ....
Hi, I'm Michelle Nikolai -- mother of Caleb & Sonya and a wife to my husband, Tim. I hope that my story will inspire you to get involved with child sponsorship or another program that has touched your heart.
About two and a half years ago, Tim and I decided to sponsor Henry.
Henry is a 5 year old boy from Guatemala that loves to play with cars and color. His favorite color is green. He also likes soccer. We've been learning more about Henry as we exchange letters, photos, and drawings from him.
Tim and I have volunteered for World Vision in the past and learned more about the struggles of these children and families in need. We saw sponsoring a child as a way to share our blessings with them and also as a good teaching and learning opportunity for our family.
How has sponsoring a child affected me?:
Sponsoring both Henry and Lisbeth has made me much more thankful for everything that we do have and I've noticed that I'm not as stingy with giving anymore. I’m constantly learning that it’s not about me or even about World Vision. It’s about serving God and glorifying Him through these children and by being the answer to their prayers.
What does sponsorship do for a child and their community?: World Vision sends us updates every year on on how Henry and his community have benefited from our sponsorship. Henry has received school supplies, routine check-ups, and vaccines. His school received desks and medicine for their first aid kit. They were also able to have a Vacation Bible School for the kids and a teen leadership program.
My Story ....
Hi, I'm Michelle Nikolai -- mother of Caleb & Sonya and a wife to my husband, Tim. I hope that my story will inspire you to get involved with child sponsorship or another program that has touched your heart.
About two and a half years ago, Tim and I decided to sponsor Henry.
 |
| Henry Yordan Mellado Avalos Age 5 |
Recently, he wrote that he is thankful for the card and picture we sent and that he will take care of it. I got teary eyed just knowing how much that meant to him.
We also sponsor a sweet little girl named Lisbeth. She's the same age as our daughter -- they share the same birthday too! We just started sponsoring her a little over a month ago so all we know is that she is from Guatemala and likes to play with dolls. We can't wait to learn more about her as her family corresponds with us.
 |
| Age 2 |
Why we felt called to become a sponsor:
Our family decided to do child sponsorship because it was a way to make a difference not only on an international level, but a personal level as well. Tim and I have volunteered for World Vision in the past and learned more about the struggles of these children and families in need. We saw sponsoring a child as a way to share our blessings with them and also as a good teaching and learning opportunity for our family.
How has sponsoring a child affected me?:Sponsoring both Henry and Lisbeth has made me much more thankful for everything that we do have and I've noticed that I'm not as stingy with giving anymore. I’m constantly learning that it’s not about me or even about World Vision. It’s about serving God and glorifying Him through these children and by being the answer to their prayers.
What does sponsorship do for a child and their community?: World Vision sends us updates every year on on how Henry and his community have benefited from our sponsorship. Henry has received school supplies, routine check-ups, and vaccines. His school received desks and medicine for their first aid kit. They were also able to have a Vacation Bible School for the kids and a teen leadership program.
These are just a handful of ways that World Vision works in
communities around the world.
For only $35 per month, we’re able to give a child and their
community HOPE for a better today and a better tomorrow. That might mean not
eating out as often or just saying “no” to that new gadget or those new shoes.
Jesus said:
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40) How awesome is it to know that WE serve Christ by serving others?
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40) How awesome is it to know that WE serve Christ by serving others?
I really encourage all of you to prayerfully consider
sponsoring a child. These children and families need so little and we have so much
to give. Think of the children. Think of their future. Think HOPE.
 |
| A letter from Henry |
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Chicken with Peach Glaze
Chicken with Peach Glaze*
Serves 4 -- 3 ounces chicken and 1/2 cup peach topping per serving
 |
| Photo from 47 Healthy Soul Food Recipes Cookbook |
1 15-oz can peaches in fruit juice
1/4 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 tbsp. cornstarch
1/3 cup all-fruit peach spread
1 tsp. grated orange zest
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
(about 4 oz each), all visible fat discarded
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tbsp. snipped fresh parsley
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/8 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp. salt
2 tsp. olive oil
Drain the peaches, reserving 1/4 cup juice. Set the peaches aside and pour the juice into a small bowl. Add the orange juice and cornstarch to the peach juice, whisking until the cornstarch is dissolved. Whisk in the jam and orange zest. Set aside.
Put a chicken breast half with the smooth side up between two pieces of wax paper or plastic wrap. using the smooth side of a meat mallet or a heave pan, lightly flatten the breast to a thickness of about 1/4 inch, being careful not to tear the meat. Repeat with the remaining chicken.
In a small bowl, stir together the flour, parsley, garlic powder, paprika, and salt. Sprinkle over both sides of the chicken. Using your fingertips, gently press the mixture so it adheres to the chicken.
In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Cook the chicken for 4 minutes on each side, or until no longer pink in the center. Remove the skillet from the heat, reducing the heat to medium low. Transfer the chicken to a plate. Set aside.
Immediately pour the reserved peach juice mixture into the skillet. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes, or until thickened, stirring constantly. Add the reserved peaches, stirring until combined. Return the chicken to the skillet. Spoon the peach sauce and peaches over the chicken. Heat for 3 to 5 minutes, or until the chicken and peaches are heated through.
Per serving: Calories 320, Total Fat 4.0 g, Saturated Fat 0.5 g, Trans Fat 0.0 g, Polyunsaturated Fat 0.5 g, Monounsaturated Fat 2.0 g, Cholesterol 66 mg, Sodium 164 mg, Carbohydrates 42 g, Fiber 1 g, Sugars 28 g, Protein 27 g
Dietary Exchanges: 1 fruit, 2 other carbohydrate, 3 very lean meant
---------------------------------------------------
Note: It does take a little bit of time to make so I try to flatten the chicken ahead of time as well as prep the peach glaze so the rest of the steps go quickly when it's time to make it. Also, you can substitute cumin + chili powder if you don't have paprika and I use canola oil instead of olive oil.
*This recipe was taken from 47 Healthy Soul Food Recipes
*This recipe was taken from 47 Healthy Soul Food Recipes
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
A review of resolutions
At the beginning of the year, I had three main resolutions. Let's see how I'm doing!
1) Spend more time with my kids and family. I like to think that I've been doing alright with this. I kind of go back and forth between spending quality time with them and wanting just some quiet time by myself. The other night though, all four of us play a revised version of Monopoly together. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the laughter we shared together.
2) Spend more time with God. I've become a little more excited about God again while I've been preparing for my Hope Sunday presentation. I just see God at work so much and can't help, but feel close to Him. I still need to work on my goal of reading daily from the Bible. With teaching Sunday School, I for sure do this once a week, but I need consistency.
3) Take care of myself and grow academically. I haven't been so good about eating healthy and avoiding sweets. There were a few weeks in there where I was sick and lethargic and just didn't want to eat anything -- including chocolate. So I wasn't really working out either. Today, I finally busted out the Tae Bo YouTube video and did a short 8 minute cardio workout. It felt good. I might have to do some more after I'm done with this post. Now, I just have to start curbing my sweet tooth because with our anniversary, Sonya's birthday treats and Valentine's Day, I'm afraid I haven't had much self control. I've been trying to chew gum every time I want to snag a piece of candy, but I can only chew so much before it aggravates my TMJ. As for growing academically -- I'm still tutoring the little girl in Caleb's class so that forces me to review Spanish terms. I also found a site to do a free online Spanish class so I started that last week. Since there's no grades or anything, I have to motivate myself to just do it a few times a week.
Well, there you have it. If I could just get myself back on a schedule of sorts, I'm sure I can conquer all of these by the end of the year. The things that really throw my schedule off though are holidays and vacations. Here's to pressing on!
How are you doing on your resolutions this year?
1) Spend more time with my kids and family. I like to think that I've been doing alright with this. I kind of go back and forth between spending quality time with them and wanting just some quiet time by myself. The other night though, all four of us play a revised version of Monopoly together. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the laughter we shared together.
2) Spend more time with God. I've become a little more excited about God again while I've been preparing for my Hope Sunday presentation. I just see God at work so much and can't help, but feel close to Him. I still need to work on my goal of reading daily from the Bible. With teaching Sunday School, I for sure do this once a week, but I need consistency.
3) Take care of myself and grow academically. I haven't been so good about eating healthy and avoiding sweets. There were a few weeks in there where I was sick and lethargic and just didn't want to eat anything -- including chocolate. So I wasn't really working out either. Today, I finally busted out the Tae Bo YouTube video and did a short 8 minute cardio workout. It felt good. I might have to do some more after I'm done with this post. Now, I just have to start curbing my sweet tooth because with our anniversary, Sonya's birthday treats and Valentine's Day, I'm afraid I haven't had much self control. I've been trying to chew gum every time I want to snag a piece of candy, but I can only chew so much before it aggravates my TMJ. As for growing academically -- I'm still tutoring the little girl in Caleb's class so that forces me to review Spanish terms. I also found a site to do a free online Spanish class so I started that last week. Since there's no grades or anything, I have to motivate myself to just do it a few times a week.
Well, there you have it. If I could just get myself back on a schedule of sorts, I'm sure I can conquer all of these by the end of the year. The things that really throw my schedule off though are holidays and vacations. Here's to pressing on!
How are you doing on your resolutions this year?
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