God's Design for Marriage

I've been LOVING this study since we started this fall. We've covered a lot of different topics and used quite a few different resources -- Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, Love & Respect, Sacred Marriage, The 5 Love Languages, and more. I've learned so much from the group of women that I've been meeting with and cannot even put into words how much they have blessed me.

This last study was based on the book "Sacred Marriage." Did God create marriage to make us holy or to make us happy? That's the basic question. I had actually started reading this book last year and have two posts that I wrote about it, so I might be repeating myself as I haven't had time to go back and reread through them again. Anyway, I came across a revelation yesterday. God created man and He also created marriage so it only makes sense that if it came from God, it's a way to bring glory to Him. So through marriage, we should ultimately become more holy.

I was thinking about how marriage really brings us closer to God -- well, that is if you believe His teachings on unconditional love, respect, and forgiveness. Those three things will make or break a marriage. We're not all going to have those fuzzy, happy feelings for our spouse. How many of you can say that I've been happy every single moment of my marriage? If you raised your hand, I hate to break it to you, but you're probably dreaming or you're just sitting on a landmine. Happiness is definitely something that God can bring. I believe that wholeheartedly. Back to the question though.... was that the reason that God created marriage? I don't believe so.

In the "Love Dare" book, it talks about the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit living in communion of each other as one. God created marriage as a way for a man and woman to experience a kind of holiness that only becoming "one flesh" can do. As a married woman, I can say that I've prayed more as a wife and mother than I ever did when I was single. Marriage shows a lot more of your flaws and sinful nature. It makes it more difficult to have that unconditional love, respect, and forgiveness for each other (probably because we have to give more of it! haha!). Without God being a part of my marriage, I don't know if I'd be as happy as I am today. I've been so blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautiful family.

I'm probably rambling so I apologize. Sometimes my thoughts just get so jumbled and I need to get them out on paper before I forget them. Overall, I just want to express that the marriage study that we're doing is something that all women (even men) should do. It'll enrich your relationships -- not only with just your spouse, but with your children, other relatives, and friends. I've grown closer to the women in my smaller prayer group and appreciate the prayers that we share with each other. The stories they tell are encouraging and so is being surrounded by a group of Godly women.

Being sick is NO fun!

I hate being sick. I know... throw a pity party and get over it. I've felt so pathetic and tired lately. I get winded just going up and down our stairs to the basement. I've been sitting on the couch and resting a LOT. I kind of felt like I was being a bad mom when I just let Sonya watch TV and play by herself the past few days while I didn't get anything done around the house. Poor Tim was left to deal with the kids on Monday night when I felt the worst. Then I found out that he wasn't feeling the greatest either -- this was after he had cleaned up a few things and let me take a short nap after dinner. Granted, I think I was in worse shape with my coughing and shortness of breath, but he was still a saint or a knight in shining armor to me. I love that guy. :-)

While I was sitting around yesterday, feeling kind of bummed about being sick and not taking care of things very well, I got a phone call from a friend who was selling Girl Scout cookies for her daughter. She reminded me that I'm still a good mom and that it's ok to take it easy and rest so I can get better. It doesn't really help my family if I don't get better. Anyway, I really appreciated her saying that. I definitely needed it!

I remember the days when I was working. I rarely took a sick day. I'd wait until I was about run into the ground and could barely walk when I'd finally give in and go to a doctor. Even then, I only took one day off instead of the two or three that I really needed to recuperate with. I was insane. Who else would go to work with pneumonia or bronchitis on top of a sinus infection and ear infection? Yeah... that was me. I thought I was superwoman. But really, I wasn't doing anyone a favor. I'm getting wiser in my "older" age and have learned that I can't do it all.

Even though my lungs were still feeling tight today, I ventured out in the snow with the kids to go to my marriage study this morning. I should mention that I did go to the doctor yesterday morning and I just have a virus so they didn't put me on an antibiotic, unfortunately. At least I'm on prednisone though, a steroid to help with the inflammation of my lungs so hopefully in addition with my inhalers, I might be able to breathe better in the next few days. Anyway, Caleb had a day off from school so the next kindergarten class could do orientation today. I figured if I was just sitting in a chair at the study and someone else was watching my kids, it was probably about the same as if I would've stayed home and sat on the couch while we watched TV or something -- which I ended up doing after lunch by the way. The study was definitely worth going to. I'll probably try and post about it in another blog entry. Maybe tomorrow.

Gotta go and bathe the kids. Sonya spilled milk all over her hair and face this afternoon. It was pretty funny, but she wasn't too happy about that. Oops! I'm sure Caleb was sweaty last night while at wrestling practice. Ugh... baths are definitely overdue. Tim did some shoveling earlier and is out doing some grocery shopping for me so I think having to do dishes and bathe kids isn't too bad. :-) Adios for now.

Organization and Meal Planning

I am the worst at planning out my meals ahead of time. Unless I throw something in the crock-pot at noon, I'm usually scrounging up ingredients to try and make something tasty for supper. Our Hamilton Beach has been a lifesaver -- it's comparable to a George Foreman grill -- you know, the type with the clam shell. Just throw some meat on there with a few seasonings and then let it go for 10 minutes or less. It's wonderful, but I've been getting bored with the same old stuff. I want to be better at creating a list and just being organized in general.

So -- I found a cool article in my Good Housekeeping magazine. It gave some hints on how to create a Household Binder. I've been organizing school calendars, phone numbers, fun stuff to do in the area, etc to put in this binder so it's nice and handy and easy to find all the information without having to run to the computer to check on library hours for the twentieth time or scramble to find the emergency closing phone numbers for school. I even decided to throw in a chart with my menu for the week along with the recipes right away. The menu chart has a section for listing groceries by category too! It's exactly what I need.

Along the same lines with menus, recipes, and grocery lists..... I found an amazing site that has helped me kick it in gear. http://eatathomecooks.com. While I might not use the weekly lists all the time, it gave me a few great recipes and just ideas on how to plan for the week. So far, I've tried the Crockpot Teriyaki Chicken and the Chicken Enchiladas. My favorite part is that they don't require many ingredients so I'm not overwhelmed by the recipe. The two chicken recipes were really delicious and simple. I'd definitely recommend using them. Tonight, we'll try the Baked Spaghetti and tomorrow will be Cheesy Chicken and Rice Casserole with leftovers on Wednesday night. If you're interested in those specific recipes, I got them from here: http://eatathomecooks.com/2009/08/menu-complete-grocery-list-recipes-week-5.html (Just click on the download menu link on that page).

I'm hoping to keep up with the meal planning because it seriously leaves me less stressed during the day just to know exactly what I'm going to make for dinner. Our church likes to make meals for people that have just had babies, experienced a loss, or had surgery. While I think it's great to serve those people and my heart really wants to do something, I've always been so overwhelmed by just trying to figure out what I could make for a meal. Maybe this will help me in that area of service as well so I can be a more willing volunteer.

Well, I'm getting long winded again. Hopefully some of these ideas are helpful to other people. Adios for now

2012 and Resolutions....

Gosh... I'm so bad at writing personal stuff here. I tend to let all of that settle in my head and never make it to "paper." I think part of me just doesn't want this to be a place where I end up venting or complaining. I read in a devotional that if you have something negative to say about someone, you should tell them in person instead of in writing because once it's written down, it's so easy to read over and over again. In that same way, I don't want my negative thoughts to follow me around. I desperately want to be positive and see the best in everyone and everything. I want to forgive easily -- especially if I'm in need of forgiving myself so I can move on.

My life isn't all lollipops and rainbows even though the family blog may show all the fun times we have together. I love to remember the happy times! :-)

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Everyone seems to want a fresh start at the beginning of a new year. Resolutions dance through my head. What do I really want to do? I remember making a list of things a few months ago. I'm almost afraid to look at it and see how few of those items I can actually check off. I'd rather start over and make a new list. It's easier somehow. There are so many organizational things I want to get done -- that's probably on everyone's list, right? But, that's not my main focus for goals this year. Instead, I've shortened my list to the top three most important "goals" that I'd like to accomplish.

2012 Resolution:
1) Spend more time with my kids and family. There are too many times when they're in the same room as I am, but I'm not interacting with them. Instead, I'm reading a book or typing on the computer. Right now, everyone else is upstairs reading books. I wish I felt better about dropping everything to just be silly with Sonya during the day and spend more than a few minutes here and there playing with her or reading her books or take the time to do fun activities and wrestle with Caleb. *sigh* I'd just like to be a better mom in general.

2) Spend more time with God. For some reason, I fell off the God train. I don't feel as close as I did to him at the beginning of the school year when we started teaching Sunday school. I'm not as diligent in reading the Bible every day. I feel guilty when I remember that I haven't spent time in the Word -- but I push those feelings aside and pretend that I didn't hear that little voice in my head. I deliberately ignore God. How awful is that? So I'm striving to make God the #1 priority in my life. He's at the top of my "To Do" list right now. Hopefully I can pick myself back up and restore that relationship again.

3) Take care of myself and grow academically.  I've been letting myself go a little. I think I can still eat whatever I want and it's not going to affect me physically. Well, after Christmas, it really hit me. Those cookies and candies went straight to my hips. I just bought several pairs of jeans last year and they're kind of tight right now. I'm not going to lie. It makes me sad that I haven't been trying to take care of myself and exercise a little. So that's something I need to work on. I also need to find something that challenges me and work on it. It could be learning to sew better or writing in Spanish once a day to retain my vocabulary. I just need to do it for me.

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Those are the big ones. I figure if I listed everything, I wouldn't end up accomplishing half of my list. So yeah,  life is not all sunshine and roses, but if I didn't have something to work at, I wouldn't be "normal." Best wishes to all of you that have made resolutions this year.

An Eventful Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve morning, I got up and went downstairs. Papa Nikolai was wrestling with Sonya and I thought it'd be fun too. I was pretending that she was tackling me. The first time was just fine. It was the second time I did it that was not so good. As my head went down to the ground, I heard a "crunch" kind of sound coming from my neck. I sat up slowly and for the most part felt alright. It was almost just like a stiff neck after sleeping funny during the night.

I went to eat breakfast and tried spooning my cereal into my mouth, but all of a sudden, my neck just hurt worst for some reason. I couldn't stay sitting. Standing seemed to feel the best. Then I tried to do ice, but I realized my neck wouldn't allow me to lie down. It hurt so bad. I got back up pretty quick and just started pacing around because it hurt to sit, but I felt like I needed to rest. Then I must've tried turning my head to the left again and that's when I felt pain like no other. I asked for Tim to come by me so I could quietly discuss my need to probably see a doctor. As he and Tim's dad looked up the nearest clinics and hospitals, the room started spinning and I was so nauseous. I thought I was going to pass out. So I quickly went to the bathroom to hang out for a few minutes until the nausea passed.

Then we were ready to head to the clinic. Tim's dad drove us since they had a van. It was much easier than trying to lower myself into our car. I was so thankful that he took the turns slowly so as not to make my pain any worse. We got there a little after 9am when the clinic opened. There were a few people ahead of us. Luckily, I was able to figure out a way to keep ice on my neck and sit in the chairs of the waiting room. I kept trying to joke around and not think about the pain. Luckily I had taken some motrin right before we left the house so that was slowly kicking in.

I was slightly concerned that I might've broken something in my neck, but then I was thinking I might be paralyzed or something weird. The pain was shooting down through my shoulder almost to my elbow and it kind of felt numb when it did that. At least it wasn't constant pain -- more of just a throb in the lower left hand part of my head into my neck. If I moved, then I couldn't think of anything else, it just hurt.

The doctor was really nice and sent me to get X-rays down the hall. Nothing was broken. Thank goodness! I just sprained my neck real good. So he gave me instructions on how to take care of myself with resting my neck and applying heat and cold packs. I also got a prescription for Vicodin. I wasn't sure if I'd use it or not since the pain wasn't so great at that point. But, once I was up and moving around, then it hurt like heck again.

We were back at the house by lunchtime. I spent most of the day on the couch and only ended up using 1/2 of a Vicodin to start off with. Later that night though, my neck started spasming again. It felt like there was a seizure in my neck and it freaked me out. I made Tim get me a full Vicodin at that point. Let's just say that everything was a little funnier than normal. haha... It made for an interesting night when we played The Game of Things.

Christmas Day was good. I think I only took 1 Vicodin after lunch and slept all afternoon.

The sheets that I got for normal recovery said that it sometimes takes 2-3 weeks for swelling to go down and 3-4 weeks for full recovery. It's been 6 days and I'm still a little sore. I could maybe drive today if I had to, but I still don't trust my reaction time because if I move my neck just right, it still hurts pretty good, but not enough for me to use any pain relievers. I still can't believe I got beat up by an almost 2 year old. haha... I just had to document this so I could tell Sonya when she's older. I think I better go rest again. My poor neck and shoulders are tensing up again because I haven't been babying myself at all today.

Hope your Christmases were less eventful than mine!

Getting back on the horse...

For a few days there, I somehow got pulled into the darkness. It was scary. I cried for no reason and didn't even want to go to a friends' house when normally I'd be so excited to go see her and her kids. The thought of the effort it would take to get over there just overwhelmed me. That and I felt like the few chores I had to get done around the house were going to take over my brain. So I stayed in my pajamas for most of the day and attempted to clean the bathrooms and work on Sunday School preparation.

I was a little scared that I'd be stuck in this pit again. My passion for God seemed so far away and even when I tutored last week Thursday, I really had to force myself to have fun with it. On Friday, the worst of those days, I finally decided it was time to memorize a whole Bible passage so I started with a few verses in John 15. I love the analogies of being a vine with God as our gardener. Anyway, I repeated the first few verses over and over until they stuck in my head. As I did that, a huge weight just lifted off my heart. The veil of darkness was gone. I shed tears of happiness at the realization. Now I'm prepared for the next spiritual battle -- I just need to arm myself with the Word and God will do the rest. The next battles might not be so easy to overcome. I'm just thankful that this time was such a short spell. I don't ever want to get lost in that dark again.

Here's to memorizing more verses in John 15 -- I can't wait until I can say the whole thing by heart. :-)

Christmas Treats

I just love making Christmas goodies -- sweets are so much more fun to make than real food. :-) I baked two batches of cut-outs the other night and did two more today. Yesterday, I dipped my truffles. They turned out pretty good! Not only are they pretty, but they are pretty darn tasty!

The first couple batches of cut-outs

Caleb got to make letters out of leftover cookie dough

Making chocolate truffles

Pretty Truffles

From another angle