Hey God,It's me again. We've been making a mess of things down here.Lord, we strive to be holy, but continually fall short. We want to cast stones upon our brothers for the wrongs they do when we deserve to be stoned as well.
We can't force your way of thinking on others, but we can respect others and love them anyway.I can't imagine what it's like to be a white cop - trying to protect themselves and others without having someone casting blame on them for whatever the results might be. I can't imagine what it's like to be black - the first ones accused and the last to be given second chances. I can't imagine the anger that has fueled both whites and blacks to hate one another so much that that they resort to violence and murder.
All I know is that this hate needs to stop. The shootings need to stop. It's not going to stop by force though. Each man and woman needs to make their own choice. They need to choose to respect one another despite their differences in skin color, religion, sexual orientation, etc. It doesn't mean we have to agree on everything though. We were all created in God's image and we are all called to love one another. The Bible indicates that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
We need to choose to love each other as Jesus has called us to love our neighbors. We need to forgive one another not once or twice, but seven times seventy seven times. It doesn't mean we have to forget the wrongs done to us, but choosing to forgive ....choosing to respect... and choosing to love will start the healing.It doesn't mean we overlook sin, but that we give each other second chances. It doesn't mean we have to fully trust everyone, but that a little trust in the goodness that everyone is capable of might trump the wrongdoings and the pain.
Friday, July 8, 2016
Friday, May 6, 2016
Praying for our Nation
Lately, Facebook, and all sorts of social media have been really blowing up the presidential campaign and the whole transgender bathroom issue. Part of me wants to respond back and share what I think. Another part of me is afraid how others would respond - I don't want to start a war or anything. I'm just not sure that people are willing to listen to both sides of the issues before making educated choices. Everyone seems to jump on the bandwagon while completely ignoring the morals that factor into decision-making.
When it comes to politics, I generally lean towards a more conservative approach with some liberal tendencies. I guess you could say I'm in the moderate boat. I would like to preserve the morals that have been a solid foundation for our country, yet society continues to to try and break out of that mold. Apparently, it's more fun to do the things that God doesn't want us to do. I'm not even going to go into specifics because that would just open up a whole other can of worms. In my head, I've thought up all sorts of ways to support where I stand on certain issues, but I always come to the conclusion that there is no black and white answer like everything thinks there should be. So I just sit in the gray areas with resolutions that would benefit both sides of whatever issue it is -- but they would only work if people were willing to give up a little of their stubbornness and make decisions together instead of against each other.
For now, I'm praying for our nation -- for our leadership, that God will guide them in their decisions. I pray for the people of this wonderful country, that we will all unite and find middle grounds so that we can continue to work towards making the future better for all of its inhabitants. I pray that God will restore the moral compass in His children and that all will turn toward Him. I pray that God's will be done despite the messiness of this world.
If only I had more time -- I could write a lot more. But, the world does not wait for anything so I must get back to work. Join me in praying for our nation.
When it comes to politics, I generally lean towards a more conservative approach with some liberal tendencies. I guess you could say I'm in the moderate boat. I would like to preserve the morals that have been a solid foundation for our country, yet society continues to to try and break out of that mold. Apparently, it's more fun to do the things that God doesn't want us to do. I'm not even going to go into specifics because that would just open up a whole other can of worms. In my head, I've thought up all sorts of ways to support where I stand on certain issues, but I always come to the conclusion that there is no black and white answer like everything thinks there should be. So I just sit in the gray areas with resolutions that would benefit both sides of whatever issue it is -- but they would only work if people were willing to give up a little of their stubbornness and make decisions together instead of against each other.
For now, I'm praying for our nation -- for our leadership, that God will guide them in their decisions. I pray for the people of this wonderful country, that we will all unite and find middle grounds so that we can continue to work towards making the future better for all of its inhabitants. I pray that God will restore the moral compass in His children and that all will turn toward Him. I pray that God's will be done despite the messiness of this world.
If only I had more time -- I could write a lot more. But, the world does not wait for anything so I must get back to work. Join me in praying for our nation.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Leap Day 2016
I don't know what I'm going to write about today, but since it's Leap Day, the title was only fitting.
Lately, I've been struggling with feeling fatigued and unmotivated. I have little energy to get anything done around the house and have been feeling like I'm just going through the emotions. My relationship with God has had its ups and downs, but that's been the one thing helping me stay afloat.
I don't know what I would've done without Tim. He's been my rock during my winter blues, if that's what you want to call it. He helps with dishes and has made dinner a little more often. He makes sure the kids have their lunches made at night and has overall been taking charge while I've been stuck on the couch. Seriously, the thought of leaving the couch to try and accomplish something gave me so much anxiety, that it was almost better to just stay there even though the though of not getting anything done made me feel like a bad wife and mom.
Anyway, I was at a point last week where it actually scared me. I was feeling so low and so alone that I started having dark thoughts about my life. In my head, I wasn't important to anyone. I was insignificant. No one called me when I desperately needed someone to just be there. But how were they supposed to know? I didn't have the courage or the strength to call or text anyone. Finally, I willed myself to go on our stationary bike and I biked the numbness away. I was still feeling super emotional and wanted to cry, but somehow I managed to pull myself together enough to get dressed and head over to church to work on some Sunday school projects. And... it was 1pm when I finally left the house. Ouch! It made me cringe to realize that I had the whole morning to get stuff done and I accomplished nothing. That made me want to cry all over again.
By the time Tim got home, I was a wreck. I grabbed him right away and made him hold me while I cried. At least I was starting to feel again -- anger, sadness, frustration. I cried it all out and then the cloud slowly lifted enough for me to smile and dig myself out of the pit I was in.
After searching for possible solutions for my problem and talking with other friends, I decided that it'd be best for me to try taking Vitamin D to see if that helped with my mood. I wasn't sure if it was just hormonal issues or low iron or lack of exercise or if my body really needed sunshine. I was overwhelmed with where to even start, but finally decided that Vitamin D was a good place to begin. While it might not solve everything and I've only taken it twice now, I feel like it's made a HUGE difference in how I feel. I actually felt accomplished and appreciated. I have been able to encourage others and be encouraged by them.
We'll see how this Vitamin D thing goes, but right now, it looks like I'm on the right track. Praise God!
Lately, I've been struggling with feeling fatigued and unmotivated. I have little energy to get anything done around the house and have been feeling like I'm just going through the emotions. My relationship with God has had its ups and downs, but that's been the one thing helping me stay afloat.
I don't know what I would've done without Tim. He's been my rock during my winter blues, if that's what you want to call it. He helps with dishes and has made dinner a little more often. He makes sure the kids have their lunches made at night and has overall been taking charge while I've been stuck on the couch. Seriously, the thought of leaving the couch to try and accomplish something gave me so much anxiety, that it was almost better to just stay there even though the though of not getting anything done made me feel like a bad wife and mom.
Anyway, I was at a point last week where it actually scared me. I was feeling so low and so alone that I started having dark thoughts about my life. In my head, I wasn't important to anyone. I was insignificant. No one called me when I desperately needed someone to just be there. But how were they supposed to know? I didn't have the courage or the strength to call or text anyone. Finally, I willed myself to go on our stationary bike and I biked the numbness away. I was still feeling super emotional and wanted to cry, but somehow I managed to pull myself together enough to get dressed and head over to church to work on some Sunday school projects. And... it was 1pm when I finally left the house. Ouch! It made me cringe to realize that I had the whole morning to get stuff done and I accomplished nothing. That made me want to cry all over again.
By the time Tim got home, I was a wreck. I grabbed him right away and made him hold me while I cried. At least I was starting to feel again -- anger, sadness, frustration. I cried it all out and then the cloud slowly lifted enough for me to smile and dig myself out of the pit I was in.
After searching for possible solutions for my problem and talking with other friends, I decided that it'd be best for me to try taking Vitamin D to see if that helped with my mood. I wasn't sure if it was just hormonal issues or low iron or lack of exercise or if my body really needed sunshine. I was overwhelmed with where to even start, but finally decided that Vitamin D was a good place to begin. While it might not solve everything and I've only taken it twice now, I feel like it's made a HUGE difference in how I feel. I actually felt accomplished and appreciated. I have been able to encourage others and be encouraged by them.
We'll see how this Vitamin D thing goes, but right now, it looks like I'm on the right track. Praise God!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Procrastinating...and a job opportunity
I feel like I've fallen behind on so many things. I keep telling myself that I'll just do it tomorrow or I'll wait until things slow down. My latest thought was that I would have some extra time once the kids were in school. Caleb would be gone all day and Sonya would have class 3 days a week for a few hours in the morning. Perfect! Time to myself! Time to do some deep cleaning and organizing the house, right?
WRONG!
I ended up helping in Sonya's class since they hadn't found a teacher's assistant yet. At the end of the school year, the previous assistant had resigned to take on a different job. So I thought to myself.... maybe that could be a great part-time job for me. But! It won't work because I don't want to send Sonya to daycare on the days that she doesn't have school. I still want to be a stay-at-home mommy with her.
Throughout the summer, I felt God working on my heart. "Michelle, this is something you should think about."
I still was hoping someone else would just take the job so it wouldn't taunt me.
The few weeks leading up to school starting, they still hadn't found a teacher's assistant. So I decided that I would help in the classroom until someone filled the position. The first couple of days were great. I really felt like I was where I needed to be and I somehow had extra energy when I first got home to do a little bit of cleaning before I crashed. But I wasn't ready to commit to doing it every day.
Still... no teacher's assistant. Still... I didn't want to work on Sonya's days off.
Then, out of the blue, the teacher asked if I would be interested in applying for 3 days a week, to work solely on the days that Sonya had class. I still wasn't 100% convinced, but said I would think and pray about it.
I kept seeing God's hand orchestrating all of this. While, I'm probably going to miss those hours I would've had all to myself, I've decided that these kids need me more and as a bonus, I get to see my Sonya more often. :-)
Application in. Interview officially next week. I'm excited to see what God has in store -- hopefully an ABUNDANCE of patience! (and maybe the cleaning elves will come out of the wood works while I'm gone... wishful thinking. lol)
WRONG!
I ended up helping in Sonya's class since they hadn't found a teacher's assistant yet. At the end of the school year, the previous assistant had resigned to take on a different job. So I thought to myself.... maybe that could be a great part-time job for me. But! It won't work because I don't want to send Sonya to daycare on the days that she doesn't have school. I still want to be a stay-at-home mommy with her.
Throughout the summer, I felt God working on my heart. "Michelle, this is something you should think about."
I still was hoping someone else would just take the job so it wouldn't taunt me.
The few weeks leading up to school starting, they still hadn't found a teacher's assistant. So I decided that I would help in the classroom until someone filled the position. The first couple of days were great. I really felt like I was where I needed to be and I somehow had extra energy when I first got home to do a little bit of cleaning before I crashed. But I wasn't ready to commit to doing it every day.
Still... no teacher's assistant. Still... I didn't want to work on Sonya's days off.
Then, out of the blue, the teacher asked if I would be interested in applying for 3 days a week, to work solely on the days that Sonya had class. I still wasn't 100% convinced, but said I would think and pray about it.
I kept seeing God's hand orchestrating all of this. While, I'm probably going to miss those hours I would've had all to myself, I've decided that these kids need me more and as a bonus, I get to see my Sonya more often. :-)
Application in. Interview officially next week. I'm excited to see what God has in store -- hopefully an ABUNDANCE of patience! (and maybe the cleaning elves will come out of the wood works while I'm gone... wishful thinking. lol)
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Just writing and rambling...
A few months ago, I bought myself a new journal. It seems to have replaced the time that I spend writing here on my blog.
In my journal, I can actually write about stuff without having to feel self conscience that someone might not agree with me. I can also write freely about specific prayer requests and thoughts about people without breaking the trust of friends. Writing in my journal is my favorite way to talk to God. I feel like I'm more in tune with what God wants of me and how He wants to use me.
It's also been amazing to look back on some of my prayers and just see how God is answering them.
Sorry this is short, but figured I'd at least share why I'm not on here as much. For our family blog... well, that's a different story. I just got behind on that one. I'm not sure if I'll try and catch up or just leave it as is. I had kind of started to steer away from writing stories and just posting pictures with captions anyway. So it was kind of like Facebook, but nicer.
Rabbit trail .... I've considered leaving Facebook all together, but it's sometimes the one way that I feel connected to other people when I'm at home all day with the kids. Plus, some friends only do event invites via Facebook and I feel like I'd be missing out on those as well.
I have been cutting back though on whose information shows up in my news feed though -- Some people were just outright inappropriate, some came across as pushy, some people posted five million times a day, some used Facebook as a platform to make themselves look good, others bashed their friends or spouses on a regular basis, while there is also political articles, articles on food, cancer, exercise, parenting, blah blah blah... It just gets to be overwhelming and is enough to make one feel quite inadequate at times. So while I love Facebook to stay in touch, I'm realizing that sometimes I just have to let go of people too... and it's going to be ok.
Guess that was longer that I intended. lol. Thanks for bearing with my random thought process.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
No wonder we're lonely
I struggle so much with technology. It's supposed to help us stay better connected, right? I think in some ways, technology serves that purpose. But, there are just so many forms of communication out there right now that I feel like that even though communication is more frequent, the content is so surface-based. Relationships are becoming more hollow and less genuine.
I almost never know the best way to contact someone because there are so many forms of communication.
It's like I'm being stretched across all forms of communication just so I can stay in touch with people. Instead of making me feel more connected, I'm feeling disconnected. No wonder I feel lonely despite communication being at my fingertips.
I yearn for real relationships -- ones that aren't hidden behind the faces of technology. Thankful that God sustains me through the few friendships that I have. I just need to stop dwelling on the other relationships that haven't come to fruition.
I almost never know the best way to contact someone because there are so many forms of communication.
One friend prefers texting
Another prefers hearing my beautiful voice on the phone
Others are easier to contact via Facebook posts or private messages
Then there's email - (Which email address should I send it to?)
Maybe I should send them an instant message through gmail, yahoo, AOL, hotmail, etc..
Oh yeah... they have a blog too!
It's like I'm being stretched across all forms of communication just so I can stay in touch with people. Instead of making me feel more connected, I'm feeling disconnected. No wonder I feel lonely despite communication being at my fingertips.
I yearn for real relationships -- ones that aren't hidden behind the faces of technology. Thankful that God sustains me through the few friendships that I have. I just need to stop dwelling on the other relationships that haven't come to fruition.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Peace and Contentment
People have been praying for me. I can tell. God has given me an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment right now. I don't feel worried about the things that had me feeling anxious before.
On a normal day, I'm a chronic worrier and I want to solve the world's problems. I worry about my family and my friends thinking that if I worry enough for them, they won't have to. I guess I try to take it all on myself instead of letting God just take it all instead. But when I do that, I'm doing no one a favor and I'm definitely not trusting the Lord when I should be.
Leading up to this past weekend, I wanted to really be a blessing to Tim's family as they are going through some trials right now. Mostly, I just wanted to bring a meal and some other goodies so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking as much. I was trying to be strong for them even though I was also feeling sad about the situation. Instead of dealing with my feelings though, I just hid them behind a smile and laughter. I attempted to be upbeat and positive. While it was probably what they all needed, it was exhausting in some respects.
Yesterday though, at a time when I most needed it, I felt at peace about it all. God was in control again and all was well in the world. Well, I should say that the trials are still there with Tim's family. I'm just realizing again how our time on earth is but a wave tossed in the ocean. So the weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders, it's on the shoulders of my heavenly Father.
To my friends - thank you so much for your prayers.
On a normal day, I'm a chronic worrier and I want to solve the world's problems. I worry about my family and my friends thinking that if I worry enough for them, they won't have to. I guess I try to take it all on myself instead of letting God just take it all instead. But when I do that, I'm doing no one a favor and I'm definitely not trusting the Lord when I should be.
Leading up to this past weekend, I wanted to really be a blessing to Tim's family as they are going through some trials right now. Mostly, I just wanted to bring a meal and some other goodies so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking as much. I was trying to be strong for them even though I was also feeling sad about the situation. Instead of dealing with my feelings though, I just hid them behind a smile and laughter. I attempted to be upbeat and positive. While it was probably what they all needed, it was exhausting in some respects.
Yesterday though, at a time when I most needed it, I felt at peace about it all. God was in control again and all was well in the world. Well, I should say that the trials are still there with Tim's family. I'm just realizing again how our time on earth is but a wave tossed in the ocean. So the weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders, it's on the shoulders of my heavenly Father.
To my friends - thank you so much for your prayers.
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