If Only

For those of you that have "If Only" days......

If only I was smarter.
If only I was prettier.
If only I had that hair.

If only I had a bigger vehicle.
If only I had that contraption for the kitchen.
If only I had that laptop.
If only I had that bedroom set.
If only my house was a bit bigger.
If only I had that talent.
If only I had more money.


If only I didn't feel so tired.
If only I cleaned more often.
If only I called that friend.
If only I didn't waste so much time.


If only I knew God's word better.
If only I was more generous.
If only I was more forgiving.
If only I was a better parent.

If only .....


-- The list could go on. I just thought it was good to get all of these "if only's" out of my system. It was funny that I wrote the list yesterday afternoon and then last night, we talked about contentment in our mom's group. How can we teach contentment to our children if we're not content ourselves? God has blessed our family with so much yet the world around us demands that we mold ourselves into our neighbor and want what they have.

I often think I'm content at least when it comes to most material items -- I'm really good at window shopping, but have a hard time parting with money if it's something that I absolutely do not need and can live without. Today, for instance, I was in a thrift store and saw some plain pink sheets that would work for Sonya's bed. They were only $3. I could've bought them, but then I thought to myself that we have plenty of twin sized sheets at home. Most of them are green or have trucks on them, but they fit and no one really sees them anyway. Besides, Sonya might graduate to a queen sized bed at some point so that we can use her room as a guest room sometimes too. Then we'd have no use for the pink sheets anymore.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, I have to admit that I desire what others have sometimes (as you can read from my list above). Even though I don't go out on a spending spree, the discontent is still in my heart. I told the girls last night that I've been wanting a van, but both of our cars are in working order and we only have two kids at home so we don't really need a van right now. It was especially hard for me to turn down the offer of a van from Tim's parents this past weekend -- they are selling theirs for a family discounted price. But, the timing wasn't right for us so said "no."

Anyway, all I know is that sometimes we feel like we're lacking in something. The truth is that God accepts us exactly the way we are. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He blesses us in ways that are both visible and invisible. So when I'm going through my "if only" phase, I remind myself of these truths. For the areas that aren't as tangible, I my work cut out for me, but that doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, a terrible friend, or a terrible parent. I just have to rely more on God to work through me and He will satisfy me in all ways of contentment.

Hope Sunday and Child Sponsorship

This past Saturday and Sunday, I had the opportunity to present child sponsorship for World Vision at my home church. God had really been putting it on my heart to speak out for children around the world that are in need of a sponsor. Child sponsorship is one way to give them the HOPE you find in Hope Sunday. Throughout the preparations for my presentation and "5 minutes of fame," God stretched me and grew me in ways that only He can do. I'm grateful for this experience of going outside of my comfort zone and hope you'll read my story below:


My Story ....
Hi, I'm Michelle Nikolai -- mother of Caleb & Sonya and a wife to my husband, Tim. I hope that my story will inspire you to get involved with child sponsorship or another program that has touched your heart.

About two and a half years ago, Tim and I decided to sponsor Henry.

Henry Yordan Mellado Avalos
Age 5

Henry is a 5 year old boy from Guatemala that loves to play with cars and color. His favorite color is green. He also likes soccer. We've been learning more about Henry as we exchange letters, photos, and drawings from him.

Recently, he wrote that he is thankful for the card and picture we sent and that he will take care of it. I got teary eyed just knowing how much that meant to him.

Age 2

We also sponsor a sweet little girl named Lisbeth. She's the same age as our daughter -- they share the same birthday too! We just started sponsoring her a little over a month ago so all we know is that she is from Guatemala and likes to play with dolls. We can't wait to learn more about her as her family corresponds with us.

Why we felt called to become a sponsor:

Our family decided to do child sponsorship because it was a way to make a difference not only on an international level, but a personal level as well. 

Tim and I have volunteered for World Vision in the past and learned more about the struggles of these children and families in need. We saw sponsoring a child as a way to share our blessings with them and also as a good teaching and learning opportunity for our family.

How has sponsoring a child affected me?:
Sponsoring both Henry and Lisbeth has made me much more thankful for everything that we do have and I've noticed that I'm not as stingy with giving anymore. I’m constantly learning that it’s not about me or even about World Vision. It’s about serving God and glorifying Him through these children and by being the answer to their prayers.

What does sponsorship do for a child and their community?: World Vision sends us updates every year on on how Henry and his community have benefited from our sponsorship. Henry has received school supplies, routine check-ups, and vaccines. His school received desks and medicine for their first aid kit. They were also able to have a Vacation Bible School for the kids and a teen leadership program.

These are just a handful of ways that World Vision works in communities around the world.

For only $35 per month, we’re able to give a child and their community HOPE for a better today and a better tomorrow. That might mean not eating out as often or just saying “no” to that new gadget or those new shoes.

Jesus said:
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40) How awesome is it to know that WE serve Christ by serving others?

I really encourage all of you to prayerfully consider sponsoring a child. These children and families need so little and we have so much to give. Think of the children. Think of their future. Think HOPE.

A child is waiting for you here.

A letter from Henry

Chicken with Peach Glaze

This is one of my favorite recipes and it's really not as difficult to make as the recipe might appear from a first glance. If you like orange chicken, this is even better. I promise!

Chicken with Peach Glaze* 

Serves 4  -- 3 ounces chicken and 1/2 cup peach topping per serving

Photo from 47 Healthy Soul Food Recipes Cookbook

1     15-oz can peaches in fruit juice
1/4  cup fresh orange juice
1/2  tbsp. cornstarch
1/3  cup all-fruit peach spread
1     tsp. grated orange zest
4     boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
      (about 4 oz each), all visible fat discarded
1/4  cup all-purpose flour
1     tbsp. snipped fresh parsley
1/4  tsp. garlic powder
1/8  tsp. paprika
1/8  tsp. salt
2     tsp. olive oil



Drain the peaches, reserving 1/4 cup juice. Set the peaches aside and pour the juice into a small bowl. Add the orange juice and cornstarch to the peach juice, whisking until the cornstarch is dissolved. Whisk in the jam and orange zest. Set aside.

Put a chicken breast half with the smooth side up between two pieces of wax paper or plastic wrap. using the smooth side of a meat mallet or a heave pan, lightly flatten the breast to a thickness of about 1/4 inch, being careful not to tear the meat. Repeat with the remaining chicken.

In a small bowl, stir together the flour, parsley, garlic powder, paprika, and salt. Sprinkle over both sides of the chicken. Using your fingertips, gently press the mixture so it adheres to the chicken.

In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Cook the chicken for 4 minutes on each side, or until no longer pink in the center. Remove the skillet from the heat, reducing the heat to medium low. Transfer the chicken to a plate. Set aside.

Immediately pour the reserved peach juice mixture into the skillet. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes, or until thickened, stirring constantly. Add the reserved peaches, stirring until combined. Return the chicken to the skillet. Spoon the peach sauce and peaches over the chicken. Heat for 3 to 5 minutes, or until the chicken and peaches are heated through.

Per serving: Calories 320, Total Fat 4.0 g, Saturated Fat 0.5 g, Trans Fat 0.0 g, Polyunsaturated Fat 0.5 g, Monounsaturated Fat 2.0 g, Cholesterol 66 mg, Sodium 164 mg, Carbohydrates 42 g, Fiber 1 g, Sugars 28 g, Protein 27 g
Dietary Exchanges: 1 fruit, 2 other carbohydrate, 3 very lean meant

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Note: It does take a little bit of time to make so I try to flatten the chicken ahead of time as well as prep the peach glaze so the rest of the steps go quickly when it's time to make it. Also, you can substitute cumin + chili powder if you don't have paprika and I use canola oil instead of olive oil.

*This recipe was taken from 47 Healthy Soul Food Recipes

A review of resolutions

At the beginning of the year, I had three main resolutions. Let's see how I'm doing!

1) Spend more time with my kids and family. I like to think that I've been doing alright with this. I kind of go back and forth between spending quality time with them and wanting just some quiet time by myself. The other night though, all four of us play a revised version of Monopoly together. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the laughter we shared together. 

2) Spend more time with God. I've become a little more excited about God again while I've been preparing for my Hope Sunday presentation. I just see God at work so much and can't help, but feel close to Him. I still need to work on my goal of reading daily from the Bible. With teaching Sunday School, I for sure do this once a week, but I need consistency. 

3) Take care of myself and grow academically.  I haven't been so good about eating healthy and avoiding sweets. There were a few weeks in there where I was sick and lethargic and just didn't want to eat anything -- including chocolate. So I wasn't really working out either. Today, I finally busted out the Tae Bo YouTube video and did a short 8 minute cardio workout. It felt good. I might have to do some more after I'm done with this post. Now, I just have to start curbing my sweet tooth because with our anniversary, Sonya's birthday treats and Valentine's Day, I'm afraid I haven't had much self control. I've been trying to chew gum every time I want to snag a piece of candy, but I can only chew so much before it aggravates my TMJ. As for growing academically -- I'm still tutoring the little girl in Caleb's class so that forces me to review Spanish terms. I also found a site to do a free online Spanish class so I started that last week. Since there's no grades or anything, I have to motivate myself to just do it a few times a week.


Well, there you have it. If I could just get myself back on a schedule of sorts, I'm sure I can conquer all of these by the end of the year. The things that really throw my schedule off though are holidays and vacations. Here's to pressing on! 


How are you doing on your resolutions this year?

Bedroom Set

We stopped at a furniture store during our date the other day. I've never had a matching bedroom set let alone a head board and foot board. This is just a scanned photo so the quality isn't that great, but I think I'm in love. For now, I'm content with our mismatching bedroom furniture, but who says a girl can't dream a little? :-)

Five pounds of gunk....

Today, I'm finally feeling better -- not quite 100%, but getting there. The five pounds of gunk that I felt in my chest is almost gone. Thank goodness! It seriously felt like there was a weight pushing down on my lungs so I couldn't get enough oxygen.

You're going to laugh, but today.... I put a bra on for the first time in two weeks. It's the little things that you take for granted. Well, I can't say that wearing a bra is normally comfortable in all other circumstances, but for the record, it does make me feel more like a woman.

Anyway, I'm so thankful that I'm on the road to recovery because I've been looking forward to a weekend "away" with my husband. It's our anniversary tomorrow. I can't believe it's been 4 years already. Sometimes it seems longer -- in a good way of course. I'm excited to just spend time alone with my husband. It's been two years since we had our last overnight date. So it's long overdue. We've had our date nights, but they just don't compare to spending a whole day and night without kids. I'm not exactly sure what the plan is since it was supposed to be a surprise. All I know is that the kids are going by my parents where my sister will also be helping watch the kids and we're going to a B&B in Mayville.

For a second there, I was going to write a tribute to Tim. Then I noticed the title of this post and figured it might not be appropriate to lump Tim in with five pounds of gunk. haha...  Well, in case I don't get to that post until a later date, I appreciate Tim with all my heart. I really don't know what I would've done if I hadn't met him. He makes me laugh, he's a hard worker, and he is a man of God. I couldn't have asked for a better husband. Love you!!

God's Design for Marriage

I've been LOVING this study since we started this fall. We've covered a lot of different topics and used quite a few different resources -- Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, Love & Respect, Sacred Marriage, The 5 Love Languages, and more. I've learned so much from the group of women that I've been meeting with and cannot even put into words how much they have blessed me.

This last study was based on the book "Sacred Marriage." Did God create marriage to make us holy or to make us happy? That's the basic question. I had actually started reading this book last year and have two posts that I wrote about it, so I might be repeating myself as I haven't had time to go back and reread through them again. Anyway, I came across a revelation yesterday. God created man and He also created marriage so it only makes sense that if it came from God, it's a way to bring glory to Him. So through marriage, we should ultimately become more holy.

I was thinking about how marriage really brings us closer to God -- well, that is if you believe His teachings on unconditional love, respect, and forgiveness. Those three things will make or break a marriage. We're not all going to have those fuzzy, happy feelings for our spouse. How many of you can say that I've been happy every single moment of my marriage? If you raised your hand, I hate to break it to you, but you're probably dreaming or you're just sitting on a landmine. Happiness is definitely something that God can bring. I believe that wholeheartedly. Back to the question though.... was that the reason that God created marriage? I don't believe so.

In the "Love Dare" book, it talks about the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit living in communion of each other as one. God created marriage as a way for a man and woman to experience a kind of holiness that only becoming "one flesh" can do. As a married woman, I can say that I've prayed more as a wife and mother than I ever did when I was single. Marriage shows a lot more of your flaws and sinful nature. It makes it more difficult to have that unconditional love, respect, and forgiveness for each other (probably because we have to give more of it! haha!). Without God being a part of my marriage, I don't know if I'd be as happy as I am today. I've been so blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautiful family.

I'm probably rambling so I apologize. Sometimes my thoughts just get so jumbled and I need to get them out on paper before I forget them. Overall, I just want to express that the marriage study that we're doing is something that all women (even men) should do. It'll enrich your relationships -- not only with just your spouse, but with your children, other relatives, and friends. I've grown closer to the women in my smaller prayer group and appreciate the prayers that we share with each other. The stories they tell are encouraging and so is being surrounded by a group of Godly women.