Lately, I've been trying harder to choose joy in spite of whatever daily circumstances arise. It's tough though especially when the kids are fighting and not listening to me. It's tough when I just feel tired and cranky. But I have to push through it and just choose to be filled with joy. Only the Father can fill me up. I just have to be more diligent in going to Him every day to get filled with that wonderful joy before I can pour it out on others.
There are so many things all around me that keep reminding me to choose joy. A friend just did a blog post on it and it's actually her New Year's Resolution. The verses I've been reading in the Bible remind me. Friends with such positive outlooks on life and joyful attitudes remind me. I feel so blessed and encouraged that God would surround me with such support.
So today, I choose joy. It's a wonderful thing.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Oh, Praise Him!
Lord,
You know my heart and you know how to fill it. This past weekend, I was reminded again of how I need to go to you to be filled with your Spirit before I can continue pouring myself out in ministry. I was so empty and drained. I needed you. Thank you for provided that to me.
The women I met were such a blessing. You spoke through them this weekend and I was so blessed by that. You spoke through their words and you spoke through our worship. You even spoke through the silence. I could actually hear you instead of drowning out your words with the busyness of life.
Please help me to remember that I can't do it all on my own. I sometimes forget that and want to take the glory in working on your behalf. I'm so selfish and controlling. I'm judgmental. But you already know that. You know the depths of my soul. You know my longings and desires.
Thank you for breaking me and molding me into who you want me to be. I'm weak, but You are strong through me. I praise you, Lord for your unending love and devotion to me. You are truly an awesome God.
I just couldn't get enough of Jesus on my ride home. Usually, I struggle to put God right there in front of me, but the drive home was another blessing in and of itself. I wasn't distracted with other thoughts trying to push their way in. God was there and it was so peaceful. He gave me answers to some of the questions I have been asking. He told me to "Wait." Normally, I would continue to press Him to just tell me already. I hate waiting. I always try to fill my time with something to pass through the waiting period. This weekend though, I've been encouraged to just enjoy that silence and really listen and fellowship with my Father. I just need to keep Him as my first love in my life.
Thank you, Lord, for showing me your truth and for caring about me. I sometimes think that my troubles are nothing compared to others, but you just see me as Your Child, one who desires to know You and to love you. You want me; all of me. I surrender.
You know my heart and you know how to fill it. This past weekend, I was reminded again of how I need to go to you to be filled with your Spirit before I can continue pouring myself out in ministry. I was so empty and drained. I needed you. Thank you for provided that to me.
The women I met were such a blessing. You spoke through them this weekend and I was so blessed by that. You spoke through their words and you spoke through our worship. You even spoke through the silence. I could actually hear you instead of drowning out your words with the busyness of life.
Please help me to remember that I can't do it all on my own. I sometimes forget that and want to take the glory in working on your behalf. I'm so selfish and controlling. I'm judgmental. But you already know that. You know the depths of my soul. You know my longings and desires.
Thank you for breaking me and molding me into who you want me to be. I'm weak, but You are strong through me. I praise you, Lord for your unending love and devotion to me. You are truly an awesome God.
I just couldn't get enough of Jesus on my ride home. Usually, I struggle to put God right there in front of me, but the drive home was another blessing in and of itself. I wasn't distracted with other thoughts trying to push their way in. God was there and it was so peaceful. He gave me answers to some of the questions I have been asking. He told me to "Wait." Normally, I would continue to press Him to just tell me already. I hate waiting. I always try to fill my time with something to pass through the waiting period. This weekend though, I've been encouraged to just enjoy that silence and really listen and fellowship with my Father. I just need to keep Him as my first love in my life.
Thank you, Lord, for showing me your truth and for caring about me. I sometimes think that my troubles are nothing compared to others, but you just see me as Your Child, one who desires to know You and to love you. You want me; all of me. I surrender.
Give Me Faith -- Elevation Worship
I need You to soften my heart,
To break me apart.
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You're shaping my life.
All I am,
I surrender.
Give me faith to trust what You say
That You're good, and Your love is great.
I'm broken inside, I give You my life.
I need You to soften my heart,
To break me apart.
I need You to pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me.
I may be weak, but
Your Spirit's strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but
My God You never will.
This song really spoke to me this weekend. It's one of my new favorites. :-)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
An eventful night = little sleep
Today was a good day. I was blessed with spending most of the day with friends and their kids. Plus, we were able to do a family worship time based on the study guide we got at the Generations study that our church is doing. I'm looking forward to being able to do that more often. Our kids loved it and the study made it more fun and interesting for them to participate.
Despite the good that happened today, I still felt a little tired and worn out from not getting as much sleep as I would've liked last night. I went to bed with a slightly throbbing head and jaw. I think my TMJ is just acting up lately for some reason. So I wasn't completely asleep when the storm scared the living daylights out of me with a huge crack of thunder. I usually sleep right through that stuff either because I'm so tired that I don't hear it or because the sound of rain pounding against the roof is so calming that I fall right back to sleep.
Anyway, we currently do not have curtains in our bedroom because they seemed to look nice in Sonya's room and she didn't have any. So the lightening kept flashing through the blinds and kept me awake.
Then the darn smoke detector decided that its batteries were running low. You know that chirping sound it makes? Yeah, it started chirping more frequently to the point where I just had to take the thing down. Although, it was in the middle of the night and I wasn't sure if it was the detector in Sonya's room, the hallway, or in our room. I didn't want to get out of bed. But.. I did. Then I got some tylenol.
I was finally fast asleep when Tim crawled out of bed and was checking on the sump pump. I started getting crazy ideas in my head that the house was going to start flooding since it seemed like it had been pouring buckets for hours outside. So I ran downstairs too to make sure everything was ok.
I kind of heard Caleb get up, but was so drowsy that I dozed off again. I guess he got scared during the storm and came in our room. Sonya must've too or she was calling for one of us. I don't remember hearing her at all, but Tim says she was up.
That was my night last night. I wanted to stay in my nice warm bed this morning and even hit snooze a few times before Sonya came in my room asking for breakfast. So I helped her and then tried to sleep for 15 minutes before getting Caleb up for school. I never drink coffee, but today I definitely had some. Thank goodness we keep it in the house for my parents and other guests! haha
So maybe I have a good reason for being cranky tonight. Instead of heading to bed early, I'm sitting here half-asleep trying to type. It sounded like a good idea. I think I was going to type about something else, but then all of this other stuff just spilled out. Oh well... maybe I'll remember tomorrow about what I meant to write about tonight.
Good night!
Despite the good that happened today, I still felt a little tired and worn out from not getting as much sleep as I would've liked last night. I went to bed with a slightly throbbing head and jaw. I think my TMJ is just acting up lately for some reason. So I wasn't completely asleep when the storm scared the living daylights out of me with a huge crack of thunder. I usually sleep right through that stuff either because I'm so tired that I don't hear it or because the sound of rain pounding against the roof is so calming that I fall right back to sleep.
Anyway, we currently do not have curtains in our bedroom because they seemed to look nice in Sonya's room and she didn't have any. So the lightening kept flashing through the blinds and kept me awake.
Then the darn smoke detector decided that its batteries were running low. You know that chirping sound it makes? Yeah, it started chirping more frequently to the point where I just had to take the thing down. Although, it was in the middle of the night and I wasn't sure if it was the detector in Sonya's room, the hallway, or in our room. I didn't want to get out of bed. But.. I did. Then I got some tylenol.
I was finally fast asleep when Tim crawled out of bed and was checking on the sump pump. I started getting crazy ideas in my head that the house was going to start flooding since it seemed like it had been pouring buckets for hours outside. So I ran downstairs too to make sure everything was ok.
I kind of heard Caleb get up, but was so drowsy that I dozed off again. I guess he got scared during the storm and came in our room. Sonya must've too or she was calling for one of us. I don't remember hearing her at all, but Tim says she was up.
That was my night last night. I wanted to stay in my nice warm bed this morning and even hit snooze a few times before Sonya came in my room asking for breakfast. So I helped her and then tried to sleep for 15 minutes before getting Caleb up for school. I never drink coffee, but today I definitely had some. Thank goodness we keep it in the house for my parents and other guests! haha
So maybe I have a good reason for being cranky tonight. Instead of heading to bed early, I'm sitting here half-asleep trying to type. It sounded like a good idea. I think I was going to type about something else, but then all of this other stuff just spilled out. Oh well... maybe I'll remember tomorrow about what I meant to write about tonight.
Good night!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
She's so crafty!
On Sunday, my mom gave me a box of felt that she didn't use anymore. It was leftovers from making costumes for Halloween and school plays when I was younger. So instead of letting it sit for another 10 years, I decided to be a little creative and make some cute little chocolate chip cookies.
Sonya loves to pretend that she is baking them in her oven. From a distance, they look pretty close to the real thing. I am almost motivated to start baking a batch right now! Yum!
Sonya loves to pretend that she is baking them in her oven. From a distance, they look pretty close to the real thing. I am almost motivated to start baking a batch right now! Yum!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
On sensitive topics....
It's been a while again.... I miss blogging yet I somehow let myself go for weeks without writing. It doesn't make sense. If I like writing so much, why would I wait so long to blog?
Well, there's no shortage of topics. It's just a matter of whether or not I deem myself intelligent enough to argue my points. Some of the topics are a little more sensitive so that's part of it. The other part is that I don't want to get caught up in a game of judgment. I have my thoughts and beliefs on things, but I'm not out to force those on anyone else or put others in difficult positions.
That's my struggle. I care too much about what other people think of me and especially of what opinion people would get of me if I suddenly started to write about my true feelings on gay marriage, abortion, and even more controversial right now: the government. I've done really well at keeping these topics out of my Facebook statuses even though a part of me really would've loved to have a good debate. I just didn't want to give into that temptation because I knew I'd become like a lot of other people I saw on Facebook: spiteful, resentful, hurt.
While there are people out there that don't really care what people think of them when they write about sensitive topics, I'm just too chicken. Maybe I shouldn't care, but I do. Maybe it's God's way of trying to keep the peace. It's an internal struggle I deal with.
If you saw all the blog posts that I've compiled in my head, you'd think I should write a book. There are so many that never even made it to typed writing while others were typed, but never made it to the publishing page.
That's all I've got for now. I know it's not very exciting. Maybe one of these days, I'll venture out and share more. But for now, I'll have to be content with writing a book in my head.
Well, there's no shortage of topics. It's just a matter of whether or not I deem myself intelligent enough to argue my points. Some of the topics are a little more sensitive so that's part of it. The other part is that I don't want to get caught up in a game of judgment. I have my thoughts and beliefs on things, but I'm not out to force those on anyone else or put others in difficult positions.
That's my struggle. I care too much about what other people think of me and especially of what opinion people would get of me if I suddenly started to write about my true feelings on gay marriage, abortion, and even more controversial right now: the government. I've done really well at keeping these topics out of my Facebook statuses even though a part of me really would've loved to have a good debate. I just didn't want to give into that temptation because I knew I'd become like a lot of other people I saw on Facebook: spiteful, resentful, hurt.
While there are people out there that don't really care what people think of them when they write about sensitive topics, I'm just too chicken. Maybe I shouldn't care, but I do. Maybe it's God's way of trying to keep the peace. It's an internal struggle I deal with.
If you saw all the blog posts that I've compiled in my head, you'd think I should write a book. There are so many that never even made it to typed writing while others were typed, but never made it to the publishing page.
That's all I've got for now. I know it's not very exciting. Maybe one of these days, I'll venture out and share more. But for now, I'll have to be content with writing a book in my head.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Broken and Shattered
My heart hurts today.... actually I've felt like this for almost a week. I'm just never sure what to write here or if I should bother sharing a part of my heart. My heart has been broken and even shattered to pieces before from relationships and even friendships.
Right now, I just feel like a friend that's waiting on the wayside until I'm "needed" again. I feel like I'm not enough of a friend to be pursued by others. I feel like I initiate the majority of conversations (whether by email, mail, phone, or instant messages). I wonder why I always get stuck as the initiator. Sometimes it's nice to just be pursued instead of acting as the pursuer. So here I am waiting again.
I could very easily just call someone up to chat or plan a play date. For some reason though, I feel like I'm interrupting their day so it doesn't make me too eager to try getting a hold of them any time soon. Either that or I'll call and leave a voice mail that doesn't get returned. I'm stuck in a circle.
I feel pathetic for feeling slighted and disappointed. I just want to curl up on the couch and be a hermit all day. I'm not sure I want to talk to anyone, but at the same time, I want to feel like I matter and that someone cares.
It's ironic that I feel this way when I've been preparing a Bible study on friendship -- the kind that David and Jonathan shared. I pray that these feelings will be lifted soon. I just have to remind myself that Jesus can fulfill my every need. He's always there to pursue me, just waiting at the door until I'm ready to hang out or have a conversation. Oh, what a friend I have in Jesus.
Whew -- now that I got this off my chest, I feel a little better already. Maybe I can break out of the circle today and become a better friend myself. It's a new day.
Right now, I just feel like a friend that's waiting on the wayside until I'm "needed" again. I feel like I'm not enough of a friend to be pursued by others. I feel like I initiate the majority of conversations (whether by email, mail, phone, or instant messages). I wonder why I always get stuck as the initiator. Sometimes it's nice to just be pursued instead of acting as the pursuer. So here I am waiting again.
I could very easily just call someone up to chat or plan a play date. For some reason though, I feel like I'm interrupting their day so it doesn't make me too eager to try getting a hold of them any time soon. Either that or I'll call and leave a voice mail that doesn't get returned. I'm stuck in a circle.
I feel pathetic for feeling slighted and disappointed. I just want to curl up on the couch and be a hermit all day. I'm not sure I want to talk to anyone, but at the same time, I want to feel like I matter and that someone cares.
It's ironic that I feel this way when I've been preparing a Bible study on friendship -- the kind that David and Jonathan shared. I pray that these feelings will be lifted soon. I just have to remind myself that Jesus can fulfill my every need. He's always there to pursue me, just waiting at the door until I'm ready to hang out or have a conversation. Oh, what a friend I have in Jesus.
Whew -- now that I got this off my chest, I feel a little better already. Maybe I can break out of the circle today and become a better friend myself. It's a new day.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Photo Book
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Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.
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